


equilibrium

by dharmainitiative



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Asexual Character, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Prank Wars, Roommates, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-06-21 09:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15554601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dharmainitiative/pseuds/dharmainitiative
Summary: equilibrium (n): when two opposing forces reach a state of balance.[ex: objects in an enclosed space will eventually reach equilibrium.]





	1. i guess it's just as well

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title from Rivers and Roads by The Head and the Heart

****On his drive back to Samwell in the August of his junior year, Dex feels conflicted.

He’s excited to be going back, of course. He loves his family — really, he does — but sometimes the things they say get under his skin. His mom and his sisters not so much, although they could definitely do more to become socially aware, and his older brother still watches Fox News, but his extended family — his aunts, uncles, and cousins — are practically unbearable to have a conversation with, and unfortunately, Dex sees them pretty regularly.

(He sort of understands, now, how his teammates first felt around him freshman year, though Dex likes to think he was never quite as bad.)

On the other hand, Dex is a little sad about the upcoming year — it’s his junior year, which means he only has two years left at Samwell. But more importantly, it’s Bitty’s last year, and although Dex is sure he’ll visit, he isn’t sure how he’ll survive his senior year of college without his unending support and surplus of pies.

Mostly, though, Dex is maybe sort of nervous about his junior year at Samwell.

This has a lot to do with the fact that he’ll be spending the year rooming with Nursey.

Dex’s relationship with Nursey left off on a bit of a sour note in May. After the big blowout of the dib flip, Nursey had pretty much avoided him, and come to think of it, the rest of Dex’s teammates hadn’t seemed very happy with him, either. Even Chowder, always reluctant to pick sides and get involved in Nursey and Dex’s conflicts, had seemed a little upset with him in the last couple months of sophomore year.

Look, Dex gets that his reaction could’ve been better. The biography written about his life could be titled, _That Could’ve Been Handled Better: A William J. Poindexter Biography._ But when that coin had gotten stuck in the floorboards of Lardo’s room, all Dex could think about was everything that would inevitably go wrong if he roomed with Nursey, and he’d panicked.

But he’d also hurt Nursey’s feelings in the process — though he doubted Nursey would ever admit it — which wasn’t okay. So if Dex is being honest, he probably deserved the silent treatment, especially from Nursey.

Which is why Dex apologized to Nursey at Ransom, Holster, and Lardo’s graduation at the end of the semester.

“I overreacted,” Dex had said to Nursey. “And I was a dick. I’m sorry.”

Nursey had just shrugged. “Dude, it’s chill. I’m already over it.”

But things didn’t _seem “_ chill.” Sure, he and Nursey hadn’t exactly been best friends before the dib flip or anything, but Dex had thought they were at the very least acquaintances — they hung out pretty often, even if they spent most of the time arguing, and they texted or Snapchatted almost regularly. But over the summer, Nursey had only spoken to him once outside of the group chat, and that was to ask about sleeping arrangements.

So yeah, a few months ago, if someone had asked, Dex probably would’ve said that he and Nursey were friends.

Now, he isn’t exactly sure what they are.

\--

When Dex arrives at the Haus on move-in day, the first person he sees is Chowder.

“Dex!” Chowder cheers as soon as he enters the Haus. “You’re finally here!”

Before Dex can even get in a word in, he’s being engulfed in a Chowder Hug™, huge and bone-cracking, yet oddly comforting. “Hey, Chow,” Dex says, and pats Chowder once on the back before withdrawing from the hug. “How was your summer?”

Not that he even needs to ask. He and Chowder texted nearly every day over break.

As Chowder is rattling off about the vacation he took with Farmer and his parents, Dex sets down his boxes and wanders into the kitchen, where Bitty has evidently already started baking. He’s mixing ingredients into a bowl, and two pies are already sitting on the counter.

After two years at Samwell, Dex is no longer surprised.

“Dex! Hey!” Bitty says cheerfully. “How was your summer?”

“Pretty good,” Dex says.

“Do you need any help taking your stuff upstairs?”

“Nah,” Dex says. He and Nursey moved the majority of their stuff in before the end of last semester, so he doesn’t actually have that many boxes to unload from his truck. But speaking of Nursey… “Is Nurse here yet?”

“Yep!” Chowder says. “He got here a couple of hours ago.”

“Also,” Bitty adds, looking up from his bowl. “I’ve reached a decision.” Dex waits. “Y’all aren’t allowed to start screaming at each other until we’ve been here for _at least_ twenty-four hours.”

Dex rolls his eyes. “We’ll be fine, Bitty,” he says, although he’s secretly not so sure.

Bitty raises his eyebrows and looks doubtful, but doesn’t say anything else.

\--

When Dex reaches the room — Shitty’s old room, Lardo’s old room, his new room he now shares with Nursey — he immediately notices something’s off.

It’s not Nursey’s stuff. He’d set most of that up before they’d left for the summer, so none of it is a surprise — it’s just a few posters, his bookshelf, and a record player (because of course, Nursey is someone that owns a record player.) And Nursey had made sure there was enough bare space on the walls for Dex to personalize, so it’s not that his stuff is taking up too much of the room, either.

The problem is that Lardo’s old loft bed is still in place, and there’s no second mattress in sight. And he _knows_ Nursey ordered a new mattress and bed frame — he’d texted Dex about it over the summer, agreeing to pay for it since they both knew Nursey was too clumsy for the top bunk.

So the fact that it’s not here is...a little suspicious.

“Oh, hey, Dex,” Nursey says when he spots him in the entryway.

“Hey, Nursey,” Dex says, a little cautiously. “Uh...where’s the other bed?”

“Oh, about that,” Nursey says, and shoots Dex a grimace. “So, I ordered the frame and the mattress from IKEA, but it’s actually not gonna be here until Monday?”

Dex stares at him. “It’s _Wednesday_.”

Nursey grimaces further. “Yeah, I know. Kinda sucks, huh?”

“ _Nursey._ ” Dex says incredulously. “We can’t live here for five days with only _one bed._ ”

“Well, we could always share,” Nursey says with a smirk, and that’s not right. If this was a real accident, Nursey would’ve apologized, would’ve brought a sleeping bag to use until the new bed came in, and would’ve said the word ‘chill’ at least five times.

“Face it, you’re gonna move out by August,” Nursey had said last spring, right after the dib flip. “September. _Tops_.”

“You _asshole_ ,” Dex hisses. “You did this on purpose!”

“What?” Nursey asks, eyes wide. But it’s fake, it’s all an act — just like his smirk and his smug attitude and his ‘chill’ facade.

“You ordered the frame and the bed late on _purpose_ to drive me crazy!” Dex accuses. “You’re trying to get me to want to move out!”

“I’m doing no such thing.”

“ _You are!_ ”

“Might wanna lower your voice, dude,” Nursey says. “Bitty told me we weren’t allowed to argue with each other for twenty-four hours.”

Dex wants to scream.

Instead, he takes a deep breath.

“Two can play at this game,” he declares. “If anyone’s gonna move out, it’s gonna be you _._ ”

“Whatever you say, bro,” Nursey says, still wearing that insufferable smirk. “So, are you a big spoon or a little spoon?”

Dex drops his box on the floor and walks out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

\--

Dex has been sleeping underneath the loft bed on Chowder’s air mattress for three nights in a row when he wakes up in the middle of the night to a loud _thump._

For a second, he doesn’t do anything at all, still halfway asleep. But when he rolls over and sees Nursey on the ground, he immediately kicks his bedsheets off.

“Dude,” Dex says, crouching next to Nursey. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Nursey mumbles, voice still slurred with sleep. “Think I hit my funny bone. Wasn’t very funny.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dex mutters. “How the hell did you manage to fall? The bed has a _rail,_ Nurse.”

“I’ll have you know, I could have died,” Nursey says into the floorboards. “That almost happened to someone on the last season of _The_ _Bachelorette._ ”

Dex groans. “Of _course_ you watch _The Bachelorette._ ”

“It’s quality entertainment, Dex.”

Dex rolls his eyes, even though he knows Nursey can’t see him. “Can we switch beds now that you’ve fallen and injured yourself just like I said you would?”

“Nope,” Nursey responds, slowly prying himself off the floor.

“Nursey. Seriously?”

When Dex had borrowed Chowder’s air mattress (which he’s pretty sure Chowder only had in case the two of them got in a bad fight and one decided to spend the night in his room), he’d said to Nursey, “So, I’m assuming you’ll take the mattress, right? Seeing as there’s no way you’ll last in the bed until Monday without falling off and breaking your neck.”

Dex hadn’t expected Nursey to argue — in fact, Nursey was usually the first to admit how clumsy he was. But instead, he’d just raised an eyebrow and said, “Is that a bet?”

Dex hesitated, surprised, but then smirked. There was no way he was losing this. “Well, I guess it is now.”

“If I win, you have to do my bathroom chores for the rest of the year,” Nursey said.

“ _When_ I win, I get the top bunk until the IKEA bed comes in, _and_ you have to edit my papers for the rest of the year.”

“Deal.”

“Didn’t break my neck,” Nursey says now, slowly climbing back up the ladder to the lofted bed. “Doesn’t count.”

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me — ”

“Shh,” Nursey whispers as he climbs under his duvet. “M’trying to go back to sleep.”

Dex stands there watching Nursey in utter disbelief, but can’t bring himself to climb back into his own bed. For one thing, it’s not actually _his bed_ — it’s Chowder’s air mattress, which is unbelievably lumpy. And for another thing, Dex shouldn’t even be sleeping on the air mattress in the first place, seeing as _Nursey’s_ the one who supposedly forgot to order the new mattress.

Not to mention that _Dex had just won the fucking bet._

“Fuck this,” Dex mutters, and then starts climbing up the ladder.

Nursey lifts his head. “What the hell.”

“We’re switching beds. Get out.”

Nursey lies back down on his pillow. “Don’t wanna.”

“ _Fine,_ ” Dex practically growls, and climbs into the bed next to Nursey. “But you’re sleeping on the air mattress tomorrow night.”

Nursey stares at him, eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to sleep in a real bed for once and make sure you don’t fall to your fucking death. Scoot over.”

Nursey hesitates, then wordlessly slides over until he’s against the wall, and Dex is on the outside edge of the bed.

Dex pulls the covers over both of them and lies down.

He falls asleep in minutes.

\--

When Dex wakes up the next morning with his legs tangled with Nursey’s and Nursey’s arm flung across his waist, it’s only a little awkward. But Nursey doesn’t wake up when Dex gently extracts himself from his limbs, and Dex doesn’t stick around thinking about Nursey’s bedhead or his little snuffles while he’s asleep, so he counts it a success.

They don’t talk about it after that, either, but the night afterwards, Nursey takes the air mattress without putting up a fight.

Thankfully, their bed is delivered a day earlier than they expected it to be, so on Sunday afternoon, Dex and Nursey sit on the floor of their room, following the IKEA manual.

“Hammer,” Dex says to Nursey, holding out his hand, and Nursey passes him a screwdriver.

Dex turns to stare at him.

“What?”

Dex blinks. “Are you serious?”

Nursey cracks up. “No, dude, I’m just messing with you,” he says, and hands Dex the hammer.

Dex rolls his eyes.

After the bed is done, when Nursey is sprawled across the bottom bunk and Dex is sitting at the desk, it occurs to him that now is as good a time as any to have _The Talk_. And he figures it’s better to do it now as opposed to later, when Bitty will inevitably go all out and force them to sign some sort of contract or something.

“So,” Dex says, turning away from his laptop. “We should probably go over rooming logistics.”

Nursey looks up from his book and shrugs, closing it shut. “Yeah, I guess we should. What do you wanna talk about?”

“I don’t know. I mean, maybe the obvious stuff,” Dex says. “Like, personal space and making sure we don’t touch each other’s shit or eat each other’s food.”

“Fair.”

“And, seeing as we have wildly different music tastes, headphones are probably a good idea, too,” Dex adds. “No offense, but I don’t wanna hear A Tribe Called Quest blasting every time you’re writing a paper.”

“Won’t be a problem,” Nursey says. “I usually listen to Bon Iver while I’m writing a paper, anyway.”

Dex groans and Nursey smirks.

“We should probably give each other a heads up if we have visitors, too,” Nursey adds. “Just so neither of us ever has to come into our room and be like ‘who the hell is this.’”

“That’d be pretty awkward.”

“Yep,” Nursey agrees, nodding. “Anything else you wanna go over?”

Dex hesitates for a moment. “I mean, this should probably go without saying, but please give me a warning if you’re going to sexile me.”

Nursey blinks. “What?”

Dex feels his face start to burn. It’s an awkward conversation to have, but it’s a pretty vital one. His freshman year roommate _always_ had a girl over, and had _never_ let Dex know beforehand.

“I mean, if I’m being kicked out of my room for a night I’d like a heads up,” Dex says. “I guess just leave a sock on the door?”

Nursey doesn’t answer right away. Finally, though, he says, “Chill. Sounds good.”

“Good.”

“Same goes for you, though.”

Dex stills.

Nursey lifts an eyebrow. “What, you get a free pass for fucking somebody whenever you want and I don’t? I don’t wanna wake up in the middle of the night to the top bunk shaking.”

Dex feels his face start to burn again, and hesitates. If there were ever an acceptable time to breach this conversation with Nursey, now would be it, he thinks. He could very easily say, “Actually, you don’t need to worry about that,” or “Oh hey, turns out I forgot to mention I’m asexual.”

But Dex really isn’t in the mood to have that conversation right now, especially not with Nursey. So instead he says, “That won’t be a problem.” Then he clears his throat. “But sure. Same goes for me.”

“Chill,” Nursey says again.

Dex rolls his eyes and turns back to his laptop.

\--

Look, Dex isn’t exactly thrilled that he fits the “nerdy guy who’s good with computers and has never been laid” stereotype, but hey. It is what it is.

He didn’t really figure out what “asexual” meant until his freshman year at Samwell, but he’s always kind of known something was off. When he was in high school, the guys in the locker room would always talk about how hot the girls at their school were, and how excited they were to get laid at so-and-so’s party next weekend, but Dex had never related. At first he thought it was because he was gay — which still probably has a little something to do with it — but when he’d heard some of his friends complain and worry about still being virgins, Dex couldn’t really relate to that, either.

It’s not that he thinks sex is gross, or anything, it’s just that he’s never actually been very interested in having it, so he never has. And sure, maybe he’ll change his mind about the subject someday, but what bothers Dex is the assumption that he _will_ change his mind someday — the assumption that _everyone_ wants to have sex, like someone’s life isn’t complete until they’ve fucked someone else.

And he gets it — sex is natural and biological and intimate and all that great stuff. He’s not knocking sex. He just doesn’t think it’s for everybody, particularly himself, and he wishes people would stop assuming that it is.

Not that anyone knows or anything. He thinks Chowder’s guessed, though he’s never directly told him. He usually sort of weaves his way through the topic when it comes up, or else avoids it altogether. And Dex is on a hockey team of hormone-fueled boys. The topic of sex comes up _a lot_. If he has to push off Ransom and Holster’s offers to get him laid one more time, he’s gonna lose it.

There’s probably a few reasons why Dex has never told anyone he’s ace, but the main one is that Dex just doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Coming out as asexual is a little different than coming out as gay (something else Dex has also never done, but that’s a different issue altogether) — it certainly comes with different struggles and issues, but it’s not exactly the same. Besides, being ace largely refers to one’s sex life (or lack thereof), which is something people tend to keep quiet about, anyway.

It might would be different if he were aromantic, as well, but he’s not. He thought he was, for a little while, but then...well. He figured out that he wasn’t. He could be gray-aromantic, he supposes, which is a thing, but honestly, he's not someone that feels comfortable using a lot of labels. He knows it’s helpful for some people, but Dex is a simple guy, and life is complicated enough already.

So, no, Dex has never really come out to anybody. There have probably been instances where he could’ve — for example, he could probably easily prevent his Mom’s once-a-month questioning of why he hadn’t brought a girl home yet with “Because I’m gay and ace, Mom,” though it might not go over well  — but he hasn’t, and maybe he never will, and that’s fine.

After all, it’s nobody else’s business how much sex Dex has — or, more accurately, doesn’t have.

\--

Dex’s junior year gets off to a pretty rocky start. His classes seem harder than usual and Bitty works them harder than he was expecting at practice. Worst of all, though, being roommates with Nursey is...not great.

Evidently, Nursey really is determined to get Dex to move out by the end of the year, and this means that he’s resorted to pranking Dex whenever given the chance.

Dex has to admit, the pranks are pretty good. Nursey comes up with all sorts of ideas, like taping an air horn under Dex’s desk chair, or covering the floor of their room with cups of water so that there’s no way he can get in without either picking up the cups or spilling water everywhere.

That last prank sort of backfires a little bit when Nursey realizes that _he_ can’t get into the room, either, but still, it’s pretty clever.

Perhaps Nursey’s best prank, though, is when Dex gets out of class to find a bunch of texts from numbers he doesn’t recognize telling him they saw his ad on Craigslist and are very interested in adopting his lobster.

“What did you do,” Dex demands as soon as he gets back to his room. Nursey, laughing too hard to answer, wordlessly passes Dex his phone, showing a page on Craigslist advertising a lobster for adoption who “loves to cuddle” and “gets along great with dogs."

It takes about an hour for Craigslist to take the ad down, during which Dex gets about thirty texts total from people interested in buying his lobster.

But Dex refuses to be out-won, and he refuses to move out. He worked his ass off to get dibs, he needs to save the money, and whether he likes it or not, that coin got stuck in the floorboards. This room is just as much his as it is Nursey’s.

So Dex starts pranking Nursey back.

At first, he gets his prank ideas from Google — replacing the cream in Nursey’s Oreos with toothpaste, short-sheeting Nursey’s bed, soaking an empty roll of toilet paper in water so that it looks like poop and leaving it on top of Nursey’s pillow.

But eventually, Dex starts to get more creative. Once, he takes Nursey’s poetry assignment out of his binder and replaces it with the _Bee Movie_ script.

(Dex leaves the assignment in Nursey’s book bag so that he still has something to turn in, of course. He isn’t a monster.)

The rest of their Hausmates think they’re ridiculous, but honestly, Dex thinks it’s kind of fun coming up with ways to prank Nursey. And he’d even admit that some of Nursey’s pranks are sort of funny. But after the prank is revealed comes the part where Dex has to clean up whatever mess Nursey made, which absolutely infuriates him.

This means that Nursey and Dex’s pranks usually result in arguments that are so loud, they can probably be heard from all over campus.

To be fair, they’re not always at each other’s throats — they’re college students and hockey players, so it’s not like they have the time — but even when they’re not arguing, they don’t exactly get along. The only time Dex spends with Nursey now is on the ice or, sometimes, with Chowder. They rarely, if ever, choose to spend time together, and when they _are_ alone together in their room, they don’t speak to one another very much.

Honestly, it kind of sucks — Dex maybe, just a little bit, misses being Nursey’s actual friend — but he’s not sure what to do about it, especially since he isn’t quite willing to bite back his pride and admit something like that to Nursey.

And the truth is, aside from the pranks, Nursey still isn’t a very good roommate.

For one thing, he’s messy and clumsy. He leaves his stuff all over the place — clothes, shoes, books, and everything in between — and whenever Dex asks Nursey to clean it, he always says, “Chill, I’m busy right now. I’ll get to it later.”

“Later” can mean anything from an hour afterwards or sometime in the next three days.

Even more frustrating, though, is Nursey’s skin-care routine. He has an assortment of products in their bathroom — most of which come from Lush — and he uses the majority of them daily. And it’s not that Dex has a problem with Nursey taking care of his skin or anything ridiculous like that; his problem is that when Nursey washes his face, he splashes water _all over the place._

Even _Chowder_ begins to grow bothered by it.

“Nursey,” Dex says after they’ve finally reached the point where an intervention becomes necessary. “You’ve got to start controlling the splash zone.”

“It’s just a little water,” Nursey says defensively. He, Dex, and Chowder are at Jerry’s, getting brunch before devoting the rest of the day to studying.

Chowder makes a face. “It’s actually kind of a lot of water.”

“Yeah,” Dex agrees. “There’s _mold._ ”

Dex thinks Chowder’s complaints helped — Nursey rarely, if ever, listens to Dex — because Nursey starts wiping the counter down after washing his face.

Dex isn’t the only one who isn’t exactly thrilled with his rooming situation, however. He’s pretty sure Nursey doesn’t enjoy being his roommate, either, because he has no shortage of complaints about Dex.

“You snore,” Nursey informed Dex after they’d been rooming together for about a week, as if it was something Dex didn’t already know.

But Dex just blinked and smiled innocently. “Oh, I’m sorry. Does it bother you?”

Nursey narrowed his eyes. “You sound like a fucking lawn-mower.” Dex couldn’t help it. He snorted. “It’s not funny! I literally slept for about an hour last night because you’re loud as fuck.”

“It’s not exactly like I can help it, Nursey.”

Nursey sighed, exasperated. “You can’t like, use nasal strips or something?”

Dex raised his eyebrows. “ _You_ can’t just use earplugs?”

Nursey groaned loudly.

The next night, Nursey made a big show about putting earplugs in before going to bed.

Dex just grinned.

\--

About two months into the semester, Dex heads back to his room after class and hears the sounds of Nursey’s record player before he even begins climbing the stairs.

Nursey doesn’t use his record player that often, which is something that both relieves and frustrates Dex — it’s not like he wants to listen to Nursey’s records all the time, but he thinks if you’re going to spend that much money on something, you should use it frequently. But Nursey only really uses it when he’s cleaning or he’s writing poetry and “in the zone.”

Personally, Dex hopes the record player is on because Nursey’s cleaning. It’s his turn to clean the bathroom, and Chowder has been dropping not-so-subtle hints about it for almost a week. Yesterday, he wouldn’t stop complaining about the white people hair clogging the shower drain (even though the majority of that hair definitely belongs to Farmer.)

But when Dex enters the room, Nursey isn’t writing or cleaning. Instead, he’s spread across the bottom bunk in sweats and a hoodie, his face buried in his pillow.

Dex frowns and closes the bedroom door behind him. “Hey, Nursey.”

Dex sees Nursey’s shoulders tense. “Hey,” he replies, voice muffled by the millions of pillows he keeps on his bed.

Dex hesitates, wondering if he should say something or ignore the fact that Nursey is spending his Tuesday afternoon moping and listening to sad music on his record player. If Dex were in Nursey’s place, he’d want Nursey to ignore him and not say anything at all. But Nursey isn’t Dex, so he says, carefully, “Everything okay?”

Nursey moves his shoulders up in a shrug. “Like you’d care.”

Dex winces. “Nurse, come on,” he says, moving to sit in the desk chair. “Just — ”

“Look, it’s nothing, alright?” Nursey snaps, and climbs out of bed. He moves quickly past Dex, not even glancing at him, but he can tell that Nursey’s eyes are red. Dex frowns further, and opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, Nursey mutters, “I’m gonna shower,” and then goes into the bathroom, firmly shutting the door behind him.

Dex sighs. He knows he and Nursey don’t exactly get along, but contrary to popular belief, he _does_ care about him, and doesn’t like seeing him like this. So, after only a moment’s hesitation, he decides to get up and go to Annie’s.

When Dex gets back to the room, Nursey is out of the shower, hair still slightly wet, sitting in his bed and reading a book, and refuses to look up until Dex is standing in front of Nursey’s bed and thrusting an iced coffee in his face.

Nursey eyes the coffee warily. “Is it poisoned?”

Dex rolls his eyes. “Just take it, Nursey.”

Nursey gives him a look, but obediently takes the coffee, examining it. “Is this — ”

“Iced white chocolate mocha, yes,” Dex interrupts, and refuses to consider the implications that he has Nursey’s coffee order memorized. He got himself a coffee too, of course — just plain black, which according to his teammates, makes him a heathen. He sips the coffee anyway, and sits in the desk chair again. “Let’s just...truce for the rest of the day, alright? No short-sheeting the bed or taking the soap out of the shower.”

Nursey grins a little bit as he takes a sip of his coffee. Last week, he’d taken all of the soap from the shower right before Dex had stepped inside, resulting in him storming out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, dripping all over the floor and demanding for his soap back.

Nursey had thought it was hilarious. Dex, not so much.

The two of them continue to drink their coffees in a silence that’s only a little uncomfortable, until Nursey finally says, “I got a bad grade on a paper.”

Dex blinks, surprised. Nursey doesn’t do the whole “talk about your feelings” thing, especially with Dex, so he’d assumed that Nursey would pretend nothing had happened. “What grade did you get?”

Nursey makes a face at his coffee cup. “An 80,” Nursey says. “And before you say anything, yes, I know, an 80 isn’t that bad, and yes, my grades aren’t as big a deal as yours are because you’re on a scholarship and even though I’ve got a scholarship too it doesn’t matter because my parents can pay for my college, blah blah blah, insert more bullshit here.”

“I wasn’t going to say any of that,” Dex says. Nursey gives him a look, and he amends, “Okay, I wasn’t going to say the ‘your grades don’t matter’ part.”

Nursey rolls his eyes. “I know an 80 isn’t that bad, alright? Like, I know it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just...this entire week has been so stressful already. I have a million papers due, and then I get this paper back and it’s an 80, and...I don’t know, I’m used to getting a 92 or a 94. At the very least. So yeah, it sounds dramatic, but for me, an 80 is like, an F.” He sighs. “I mean, this is something I’m supposed to be good at, you know? But lately it just feels like I’m not good at anything. Whatever.”

Nursey takes a sip of his coffee and doesn’t look at Dex, and Dex tries not to look outwardly shocked. He had no idea Nursey was this stressed. He had no idea he took his grades so seriously, either. He knows, of course, that Nursey’s whole “chill” thing is mostly an act — he’s not stupid — but this feels like the first real confirmation Dex has ever gotten that he really _isn’t_ as chill as he seems.

“What class was the paper for?” Dex asks.

Nursey finally looks up at Dex and wrinkles his nose. “Medieval Lit.”

Dex frowns. “Isn’t that professor supposed to be awful?”

“Yes! Exactly!” Nursey says. “He’s the _worst._ His paper topics are always hella lame and he doesn’t like it when students try to come up with their own ideas for topics. It’s like he’s intimidated by ideas that aren’t his.” He rolls his eyes. “And the class is so _boring._ In his lecture on _Sir Gawain and the Green Knight_ he didn’t mention anything about queer theory once. And that’s like, a huge thing in the story. And when someone in my class tried to bring it up he totally shot them down.”

“So, he’s homophobic,” Dex clarifies.

Nursey snorts out a laugh that sounds almost surprised. “Chyeah. Probably.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “Yo, Poindexter. Anyone ever tell you that you’re like, a really good person to vent with?”

Ridiculously, Dex feels himself flush a little at the compliment. “Believe it or not, yes.”

Nursey laughs again, eyes bright and smile wide, and Dex feels himself smile a little, too, and looks back down at his coffee cup. It’s nice, sitting here with Nursey and complaining about mundane things, and it’s also nice to know that Dex helped make Nursey feel better — didn’t turn the situation into some sort of fight or argument, purposefully or not.

It’s a feeling he could get used to, Dex thinks, and takes another sip of his coffee.

\--

Dex isn’t sure why he waited so long to take his gen ed English class. He should’ve done it freshman year, back when everyone else did — should’ve gotten the bullshit GED credit out of the way so he could spend the rest of his college career focusing on classes that actually mattered.

But Dex is an idiot, which is why he’s taking Intro to Composition in his junior year of college and spending his Thursday evening struggling to write a paper when instead he could be getting a head start on a presentation he has due next week.

Dex, slumped over his laptop at the desk, loudly exhales. “I wish I was dead,” he announces.

From over on the bottom bunk, Nursey snorts. Dex glances over to find Nursey watching him, one eyebrow raised. “Is it that bad?”

Dex scowls. “ _Yes,_ ” he grumbles. On any other day, he might would be stubborn and choose to argue with Nursey, but he’s been trying not to pick as many fights with him. It doesn’t often work out, but hey, at least he’s trying.

Plus, he’s just too exhausted to care.

“I’ve got most of it written, but all of it is shit,” Dex continues.

“Big mood.”

Dex gives Nursey a look. “What happened to ‘I could write a five-page essay, double spaced, twelve-point font, MLA format, in my sleep?’” Dex asks, reciting something Nursey had claimed the other night at a kegster, halfway on his way to tipsy.

“True,” Nursey concedes, then sits up. “C’mon, let me see it.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m going to help you make it not shit,” Nursey declares. “Hand over the laptop.”

But Dex just stares at him. Sure, he and Nursey have moments where they get along every now and then, but still, his first reaction is to think that this is another prank, like maybe Nursey will take his laptop just to delete the entire document.

Although, truthfully, Dex knows Nursey would never be that cruel.

“Dude, weren’t the terms of our bet that I would help you with your papers this semester?” Nursey reminds him after Dex still hasn’t said anything.

It’s true, he realizes, even though that had been like two months ago and he’d completely forgotten about it. So, wordlessly, Dex passes over his laptop.

Nursey is quiet as he reads over Dex’s paper, and Dex pulls the desk chair over next to Nursey’s bed so he can see the changes Nursey makes, which are mostly grammar and spelling mistakes. Finally, when he’s done, Nursey says, “Your essay is actually pretty good, for a comp-sci major.” Dex narrows his eyes, but doesn’t comment. “You need a stronger thesis, though.”

Dex frowns. “How am I supposed to do that?”

Nursey shrugs. “IDK. I mean, your essay is solid, but it’s an argumentative essay. So your thesis needs to actually state what you’re trying to argue, you know?”

Nursey hands Dex his laptop. “Huh,” Dex says. “Okay. Thanks.”

“No problem,” Nursey says as Dex rolls his chair back to the desk. He’s just beginning to reread his thesis when Nursey says, “Hey, Dex?” Dex glances back. “If you need me to look at it again, just let me know,” he offers with a hesitant smile.

“Oh,” Dex says, almost surprised. “Yeah, sure.”

“Chill.”

Dex rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning just a little bit.

\--

For about a full month, Dex and Nursey surprisingly get along. They’re still pranking each other, but the pranks become sort of harmless and silly, and they’re doing it for fun more than anything else, anyway. They’re still not super close, and they still argue, but things between the two of them are seemingly back to normal, as if they’d gone back in time to before the dib-flip, and honestly, Dex thinks it’s kind of nice.

Which is of course when he goes and fucks everything up.

On the last day of Thanksgiving break, Dex arrives at the Haus before Nursey does. He decides that playing a prank on Nursey before he gets back is only reasonable, so he proceeds to turn every single one of Nursey’s belongings upside down, from his posters lining the walls to the bottles of Naked Juice stocked in the mini-fridge.

Nursey, is, of course, pissed off when he comes back and sees his room in disarray, but simply rolls his eyes and begins to straighten everything up. He fixes his bookshelf last, and Dex snickers and watches as Nursey turn each book right-side-up individually.

He immediately stops snickering when he hears the _crash._

It turns out, Nursey had knocked over and broken his ceramic elephant, a gift his mom had given him when he was three and obsessed with the movie _Dumbo_ , while cleaning up after Dex’s prank and, inevitably, blames Dex for his own clumsiness, even though it’s definitely not Dex’s fault.

Directly, anyway. Dex maybe feels a little bad about it.

Regardless, after that, the truce and the pranks and the joking around comes to a halt, and they start fighting again.

The fights aren’t as serious as they were freshman year, at least. This is partly because Dex has grown and learned a bit since then. He thinks Nursey has, too, if the dwindling of his suggestions to “just buy a new one” every time something of Dex’s breaks is anything to go by. Sure, he and Nursey still don’t quite see eye-to-eye when it comes to politics, but it’s been a while since the “Samwell Republicans” sticker was on Dex’s laptop, and though he knows Nursey’s never had the burden of worrying about money, he’s heard enough stories about Andover to know that it doesn’t exactly mean he’s always had it easy.

Still, they argue over just about everything else, and their fights may not be as bad as they used to be, but to Dex, they feel more frequent.

“I just don’t understand what happened,” Chowder says to Dex one day as the two of them are walking to class together. He sounds a little heartbroken. “You were actually getting along for a second there.”

 _Yeah, and then I fucked everything up, like I normally do,_ Dex thinks, but doesn’t say, not wanting to be on the receiving end of another one of Chowder’s mournful but stern looks. Instead, he shrugs. “I don’t know, C. Maybe some people aren’t meant to be friends.”

“That may be true,” Chowder says. “But I don’t think it’s true for you and Nursey.”

“Well it’s not like I want it to be true, either,” Dex grumbles. “We’re just really different people, Chow.”

“But you’re _not,_ really,” Chowder counters. “Which you’d know if you bothered to pull your head out of your ass for more than five minutes.” Dex makes a face. “Can’t you just...at least try to make an effort to be nicer to him?”

“ _Hey._ I was trying,” Dex says defensively.

“Well, try again.”

Dex rolls his eyes. “It’s not like he’s particularly nice to me, either.”

“I know, I know,” Chowder sighs. “But you’re the one who blows up at him more often than not.” Dex opens his mouth to argue, but Chowder cuts him off. “Just…try? Please? For all our sanities?”

Dex sighs. “Yeah, fine. I’ll try,” he promises.

But when he gets back to the Haus after class later that afternoon and sees the state of his room, he slams the door shut behind him. “Nursey. Seriously?”

Nursey has headphones in, but the anger in his voice must be so loud that Nursey hears it anyway, because he yanks the buds out of his ears. “What?”

“Dude. Your shit is _all over_ the floor.”

Nursey glances down at the mess, then looks back up at Dex. “Chill, man, it’s only a few sweaters and shit.”

And maybe if Dex hadn’t had a stressful day, hadn’t stayed up until 3 am finishing an assignment, hadn’t just taken the hardest test of his life, he’d let it go. He’d say something like, “Just pick it up,” and he’d move on, keeping the promise he’d made to Chowder earlier that day.

But Dex is stressed, and he’s pissed, and Nursey’s right there, irritating and pushing all his buttons and trying to get under his skin, and what better reason is there to turn this into an argument?

So Dex scowls. “If you tell me to chill _one more time_ — ”

“Alright, alright, I’ll pick it up it it bothers you so much. God,” Nursey mutters, climbing off the bottom bunk and snatching his clothes up off the ground, tossing them into his hamper in the corner next to the closet.

“I just don’t understand what’s so hard about tossing your clothes in the hamper when you take them off,” Dex practically seethes, and to an outsider it might seem like an overreaction, but seriously? They’ve been living together for almost four months and Dex is tired of coming home to a dirty room. “The hamper is _right there_.”

Nursey shrugs. “I dunno, sometimes I’m in a hurry and I don’t have time.”

“It takes _five seconds_ , Nursey.”

“Whatever,” Nursey says, rolling his eyes. “You don’t have to blow up at me every time I forget to put my clothes up, you know. Not all of us get a raging hard-on from having a clean room.”

Dex scowls further, and knows his face is probably turning the blotchy red it gets when he’s angry and sort of embarrassed all at once, but doesn’t care. “I do not get a _hard-on_ ,” he mutters. “I don’t know why you feel like you have to make everything some sort of...I don’t know, sexual innuendo — ”

Nursey laughs outright at that. “Yeah, you’re absolutely right,” he says, voice dripping in sarcasm. “That’s me, always talking about sex, always making a joke about sex.”

Dex’s face burns further. “Well, it’s true.”

“Oh, _whatever_ , Poindexter,” Nursey scoffs. “Like you’d even know. We’ve been living together for four months and you don’t know the first thing about me.”

Which hurts, honestly, because Dex knows a lot about Nursey — knows what his usual coffee order is, knows what kind of books he likes to read, knows he watches _New Girl_ whenever he’s had a bad day. But Dex doesn’t say any of this. Instead he says, “Well, I know you can’t be bothered to take five seconds and clean up your shit.”

Nursey throws up his hands in frustration. “Oh my _God!_ Poindexter! It was literally _three sweaters._ ”

“Yeah, _today_ it was,” Dex says. “But sometimes I come in here after you’ve spent the entire morning picking something to wear and the _entire floor_ has been covered with shirts.”

Nursey rolls his eyes. “That was like, one time.”

“It’s been _at least_ seven. And before you ask, yes. I’ve actually been counting.”

Nursey opens his mouth, closes it, then finally just says, “Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_ .” Dex says, eyes narrowed. “I’m sick and tired of your shit being all over the place, alright? It’s genuinely incomprehensible to me how one person can be _this_ much of a mess.”

Dex waits for Nursey to fire back with some sort of comment that’s just as scathing, which will then turn into an all-out war, but instead Nursey just leans back and says, “Dude. Why do you hate me so much?”

Dex blinks and feels his shoulders slump. “What?”

“I know I get on your nerves a lot. On purpose.” Nursey says. “And I know that in general I’m just super annoying all the time.”

“Nursey — ”

“No, let me finish,” Nursey interrupts. Dex shuts his mouth with an audible click. “I mean, I know we get along sometimes, but most of the time we’re just arguing.” His gaze is trained towards the floor, and his voice is quiet and angry but also maybe a little sad. “And I know it’s not just your fault, and that I antagonize you and we’ve got this whole thing going on where we’re trying to get each other to move out, but I just...I’ve just been wracking my brain all year trying to figure out what I did to make you hate me so much. But I really can’t figure it out so I’m just gonna need you to explain it to me, I guess.”

The silence that hangs in the air after Nursey is finished is unbearably awkward. Finally, Dex says quietly, “Nursey, I don’t — I don’t _hate_ you.”

Nursey scoffs. “Seriously? You’re always going out of your way to pick arguments with me.

“Yeah, only because you go out of your way to make me angry,” Dex counters.

“Not _all_ the time,” Nursey mumbles. “Sometimes I don’t even do anything, or I do something wrong on accident, and you just fucking blow up at me. And lately, you’re never even here. You’re like, always avoiding me.”

“That’s because half the time I’m here, you act like you don’t even want to see me!”

“You didn’t even want to room with me, okay?” Nursey finally snaps. Dex freezes, eyes wide, and Nursey sighs, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Damn it.”

Dex looks at him cautiously. “Is that what this is about?” He asks. “Is that...what this whole thing has been about?”

Nursey winces. “Kinda?” Dex just watches him, and he lets out a long sigh. “Okay, yes. Mostly yes.”

Dex exhales loudly. He’d thought that when they hadn’t had this conversation in the first few weeks of living together that maybe they’d avoided the subject altogether. But it seems that isn’t the case, and it also seems that this has been something Nursey has been stewing over for a while, which makes Dex feel...well, not great.

“It’s just that last year, I thought we were finally starting to become friends, you know? And I was actually sort of looking forward to the idea of us being roommates, but you were just so — so _angry_. And I still don’t really know what I did wrong.”

“Nursey…” Dex moves to sit at the other end of Nursey’s bed. “Look you didn’t...you didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” He chews his lip and looks away and really doesn’t want to have this conversation, but pushes forward. “There were...a lot of reasons why I didn’t want to room with you.” Reasons that Dex really, really doesn’t want to explain to Nursey. “But none of them were really your fault. It was mostly me.”

“How am I supposed to believe that?” Nursey demands. “You literally had a meltdown just _thinking_ about sharing a room with me.”

Dex winces. _Okay, apparently we’re doing this._ “Look, I...I was worried about us rooming together because we’d just started becoming friends and I was scared we’d fight too much and fuck everything up. And, obviously…” Dex gestures between the two of them as if to say, _Obviously I was right._

Nursey just looks at him expectantly. “And?”

Dex inhales. “And then I was angry because…it felt like Lardo not being able to choose who to give her dibs to felt like it was proof that nothing I ever do is going to be good enough.”

Nursey stares. “What?”

Dex shifts, uncomfortable. “I worked so hard for dibs all year. I mean, the only reason the Haus is still sitting upright is because of me. But it didn’t even matter because I was still last pick for Dibs. And it really feels like if Lardo had it her way, she would’ve given them to you, and I’m not saying you didn’t deserve them or anything, but it’s just hard knowing that no matter what, I’m going to be picked last by everybody on the team.”

“Dex — ”

“I mean, I guess I get it, sorta?” Dex continues, because apparently once he’s started he’s unable to stop. “I had a rocky start. I was a huge dick at the beginning of freshman year, and I said a lot of ignorant and problematic things, and that was wrong. But I’ve been really trying and learning and working on that, and I’m not asking for a pat on the back or anything, but.” He shrugs and looks down. “I don’t know.”

“Dex,” Nursey says again, shaking his head. “You’re not last pick. Yeah, sure, Lardo wanted to give her dibs to me, but that’s just because I practically wrote her thesis last semester, and we’re really good friends. It has nothing to do with anything you’ve done. And anyway, she wanted to give them to you, too. You really think Lardo would've not given her dibs to me just to preserve your feelings?”

Dex frowns. “Well no, but — ”

“No, shut up,” Nursey interrupts. “I’m trying to say nice things about you. You’re never gonna get this opportunity again.” Dex bites back a grin and lets Nursey continue. “Look, you’re the only one allowed to touch Bitty’s oven, and Chowder would never make it through the school year if you didn’t help him with his homework.”

Dex laughs a little at that. “That’s probably true.”

“See?” Nursey nudges Dex’s shoulder. “You’re not Bitty’s last pick, you’re not Chowder’s last pick...” Nursey pauses. “And you’re definitely not my last pick, either.”

Dex looks over at Nursey, dubious. “Really?”

Nursey shrugs. “I mean, the whole prank war thing was kinda fun, sometimes. And I did sort of want to win. But trying to get you to move out was sort of…” Nursey makes a face. “A self-preservation thing. You know?”

Dex nods. He does know. In fact, he can relate.

“Anyway, I never really wanted you to move out, really,” Nursey admits, looking down. “I kinda just wanted us to be friends.”

Dex swallows. “I want that, too,” he says. Nursey looks up, slightly doubtful. Dex can’t exactly blame him. “I do,” he insists. “Believe it or not, I actually like hanging out with you when neither of us are being dicks.”

Nursey cracks a grin. “I really am sorry,” he says earnestly. “For purposefully ordering the bed late. And short-sheeting your bed. And all the other stuff I did just to be a dick.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry for being wrapped up in my own shit and always taking it all out on you.”

Nursey smiles a little. “Thanks,” he says. “In my defense, I could try a bit harder to be cleaner.”

Dex laughs. “Yeah, that might would be helpful.”

“So,” Nursey says, and sticks his hand out. “Friends?” He asks, sounding a little hopeful.

Dex looks down at his hand, a little surprised at the extension of formality, but sticks his own hand out, anyway. Nursey shakes it. “Yeah,” he says. “Friends.”

Nursey smiles, a real smile — not one of his ‘chill’ smirks or grins.

Dex’s stomach maybe flips just a little bit.

He smiles back.

\--

Before Dex knows it, the semester is wrapping up. By the grace of God alone, his last exam is Tuesday evening, which means that by lunchtime on Wednesday, he’s packed and ready to go home.

When Dex gets back to his room after leaving the dining hall, Nursey is already there, bent over at their desk, studying. He has two more exams, which means he can’t leave until Thursday night.

Dex knows this because Nursey has not stopped talking about how pissed he is about it.

He looks up when Dex enters the room and starts stuffing last-minute items in his suitcase, like his toothbrush and mouthwash. “You heading out?” Nursey asks.

“In a little bit, yeah,” Dex says. “Just gotta load everything into my truck.”

“Need any help?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ve only got two bags.”

“Chill,” Nursey says, and returns studying.

Things have been nice between him and Nursey lately. They still argue over mundane things, and Nursey still over-uses the word chill — two things Dex doesn’t think will ever change — but the arguments aren’t hostile anymore, and the word “chill” doesn’t irritate Dex as much as it used to.

Their friendship was a little hesitant, at first — Dex was constantly watching what he said and how he acted, worried about snapping at Nursey and fucking everything up. But Nursey hasn’t gone out of his way to rile Dex up, and Dex hasn’t snapped at Nursey, unprompted or not, since their conversation about a month ago.

If Dex is being completely honest with himself, he’s always sort of liked spending time with Nursey — even freshman year, when he pretended he didn’t. But he enjoys it so much more now that they really, actually feel like friends.

And being friends with Nursey is really nice, honestly. They connect on the ice better than ever, and he’d never admit it, but he sort of looks forward to seeing the stupid memes Nursey sends him every day. Dex is starting to wish they hadn’t wasted all that time arguing if they could’ve gotten to this much sooner.

Finally, after a bit of a struggle, Dex manages to stuff the last of his things into the suitcase and zips it closed. He looks up at Nursey afterwards, who’s looking at him with an amused grin. “Thanks for the help,” he says dryly.

Nursey laughs. “I’ve seen you single-handedly repair every appliance in the Haus, so I figured you had it handled.”

Dex rolls his eyes, but thinks there’s a compliment in there, somewhere, so he’s grinning a little when he says, “Whatever.” Then he stands to his feet and grabs his bags. “Well, I’m gonna go. Good luck on your exam and whatnot, and Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, you too,” Nursey says. Dex waves and turns to go, until Nursey says, “Oh, hey. If you miss me too much, you’re always free to Skype me.”

Dex knows it’s an echo back to their conversation after winter break freshman year, back when they genuinely sort of hated each other. He doesn’t reply, not at first, and for a second, he sees Nursey hesitate, as if he thinks Dex will take it the wrong way. And if this were a month ago, Dex probably would have.

But instead, he gives Nursey a small smile, and says, “Yeah, maybe I will.”

Nursey blinks a little, surprised. Then a slow smile spreads across his face. “Yeah, Poindexter?”

Dex feels himself flush. “Yeah, whatever, don’t get your hopes up,” he grumbles.

Nursey just laughs. “See you later, Dex. Have a safe trip.”

“Yeah, you too,” Dex says, and then carries his bags out the door and down to his truck, throwing them into the passenger seat and then climbing into the driver’s seat.

He turns his key in the ignition and lets out a deep breath, leaning back in his seat as he waits for the hot air to kick in.

“One semester of sharing a room with the guy you have a huge crush on down, Will,” Dex mutters to himself as he puts the car in drive. “Three semesters to go.”

\--

Yeah, fine. Dex likes Nursey, his d-man and roommate and person who primarily exists just to be the bane of his existence. It’s all incredibly convenient.

He wasn’t _lying_ when he’d told Nursey the reasons why he didn’t want to room with him. Those were all true. He’d just conveniently left out one of the bigger reasons, which was that Dex didn’t want to room with someone he’d had a crush on since the beginning of sophomore year.

And the crush wasn’t a big deal. Or it hadn’t been, at first. Nursey is cute, and Dex has eyes — no big deal. But they argued so much and Nursey was so out of his league that it didn’t matter, because nothing was ever going to happen between them. When they became roommates, and Dex got a front-row seat to not only Nursey’s annoying quirks but also his extremely endearing ones, the crush became a bigger deal. But again, they were fighting so much that it was easy for Dex to ignore.

It wasn’t until this past month, when he and Nursey started to become real friends, that Dex realized he had a problem.

Look, Dex gets physical attraction — he’s asexual, not blind. And he knows — he’s _always_ known — that Nursey was attractive. And even if he didn’t, he would’ve figured it out after Nursey was placed in the top five of “Samwell’s 50 Most Beautiful” list for three years in a row.

But physical attraction...isn’t a huge thing for Dex, as far as crushes go (which, to be fair, isn’t something Dex has a ton of experience with.) Sure, Nursey’s attractiveness certainly hasn’t done anything to _diminish_ Dex’s crush. But it isn’t the reason why Dex developed the crush in the first place. If it was, he probably would’ve started liking Nursey when he first saw him on the day of the Taddy tour.

So Dex doesn’t develop feelings based off of how hot he thinks someone is. He develops feelings for someone based off of a series of interactions all leading up to watching someone passionately defend the op-ed they’d brought to breakfast that morning, animated and vibrant and arms gesturing wildly, and realizing, _Holy shit, I like him._ He develops feelings after finding out someone sings to themselves in the shower, after being on the receiving end of someone’s brilliant smiles and affectionate but casual touches, after realizing, _Holy shit, I really like him._

So rooming with Nursey and being real, actual friends with Nursey is a problem. And it’s a problem not because Dex doesn’t know how to hide it — he’s been hiding it for over a year now, so he thinks he’s got it down — but because Nursey is funny and incredible and brilliant and still 100% out of Dex’s league.

But it’s fine. A few pesky feelings are nothing Dex can’t handle. He’ll be over it in a few months, anyway.

And if he’s not, well, there’s always the move-out option.


	2. what to make of this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Rivers and Roads by The Head and the Heart

No one is more surprised than Nursey when Dex actually Skypes him.

It’s two days after Christmas, but long before New Year’s, also known as the most boring part of winter break. The past few weeks haven’t been  _ entirely  _ uneventful — he’s spent a lot of time catching up with his moms — but his moms work, and because of Andover, he doesn’t really have any friends in the area. (It’s not like he had any  _real_ __ friends at Andover, either, aside from Shitty, but that’s another matter.) 

The truth is, Nursey has been so bored and lonely that when he first receives the Skype notification while scrolling through Twitter before bed, he thinks he’s imagining it. But sure enough, when he clicks the “accept” button, his screen is filled with familiar red hair and freckles.

“Dex?”

Apparently Nursey’s shock is evident, because Dex says, “Don’t sound so surprised.”

Nursey rolls his eyes. “I just didn’t think you’d  _ actually  _ call.”

Dex shrugs. “Me neither, actually.”

Nursey lets out a surprised snort. “What, are you dying?”

“Of boredom, maybe,” Dex says, melodramatic, which is an interesting change of pace, because that’s usually Nursey’s role. “I think I’ve only left my room once in the past twenty-four hours. My extended family has been here since  _Christmas Eve._ ”

Nursey raises his eyebrows. “They’re that bad, huh?”

Dex sighs. “Yeah. Kinda.”

Nursey thinks about the awkward and uncomfortable afternoon he spent with his father on Christmas, and says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He leans back and shuffles himself against the pillows to make himself more comfortable. “So, how’s your break going? Missing me already?”

Predictably, Dex flushes, and Nursey tries not to smirk. “ _No,_ ” he grumbles. “I was just bored. And wanted to see what you were up to.”

“Pretty much nothing. Been reading a lot of books.” Then he adds, “Not sure if you’ve ever heard of those. They’re these pieces of paper with words on them that have been glued together to form a really long story.”

Dex glares. “I _read,_  Nursey.”

Nursey laughs. “Anyway, I basically have nothing to do until my moms throw their New Year’s Eve party? They have it every year, which is fun, except I always feel awkward with a bunch of random adults I don’t know in my house. Then again, there’s always good food and alcohol. So usually I survive.”

“They have a party  _ every  _ year?” Dex asks. Nursey nods. “Fancy. All my family does is order pizza and sit in the den and watch the ball drop.”

“That sounds nice, though,” Nursey argues, and he means it. He and his moms do a lot of things together just as a family, but New Year’s Eve isn’t one of those things. Which is fine — his moms are so busy with work that they don’t go out and see their friends that often, so he doesn’t mind the party, exactly, but he likes the idea of a quiet night in.

Dex shrugs, but he smiles a little. “It is pretty nice. My parents would never give me alcohol, though.”

“I changed my mind, that sounds terrible.”

Dex laughs.

They don’t Skype for all that long — it’s getting sort of late, and Nursey has been trying to use this break to catch up on all the sleep he missed this semester — but secretly, Nursey thinks it’s nice talking to Dex. Their conversation never lulls, and it never feels awkward, something he was sure it would be. Nursey explains the plot of the book he’s been reading to Dex, and Dex talks about how excited his youngest sister had been when she opened her Wonder Woman Lego set Christmas morning, and they both talk about Chowder and Farmer’s vacation to Disneyland and how offended they were that they didn’t think to invite either one of them.

“I should go. I have to wake up early in the morning and help my uncle with whatever’s wrong with his computer,” Dex says with an eye-roll after they’ve been talking for about half an hour.

Nursey makes a face. “Is that the racist one?”

“I mean. They’re all a little racist.”

“Yikes. Good luck,” Nursey says, and then, before he can lose his nerve, adds, “But, um. This was fun.”

Dex hesitates. “Yeah?”

Nursey shrugs. “Yeah. We should do this again sometime.”

“Nursey, we literally live in the same room.”

“I meant like over break, idiot.”

Dex laughs. “Okay, whatever. Goodnight, Nursey.”

“Night, Dex,” Nursey says, and shuts his laptop.

\--

Nursey usually plans his class schedule so that he has a lighter load in the spring semester, and his junior year is no different. He’s not sure why he does it every year, but he thinks there’s something nice about totally losing your mind with stress in fall semester and in the spring, losing your mind a little less.

He’s only taking four classes right now — a couple of GEPs, African American poetry, and a level 100 special topics politics class just for fun. But though his workload is lighter, the semester feels harder in a way.

This has a lot to do with the fact that it’s dawning on Nursey that Bitty is just months away from graduating.

He feels maybe a little silly about being so sad about it. After all, it’s not like  _ he’s  _ the one graduating, and he’s not nearly as close to Bitty as say, Ransom and Holster and Lardo and even Chowder are.

Still, Bitty’s comforting presence and uncanny ability to produce pies at lightning speed feel like a staple in Nursey’s life now. He doesn’t know if it will really feel like Samwell without Bitty.

Knowing Bitty graduates in a few months adds a bit more pressure at practice, though. The team is working harder than ever, eager to make it to playoffs and then, win the NCAA championship. Nursey wants to win more than he has in the previous years — maybe more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life — and it’s not only because the team deserves it, but because Bitty, who’s been an amazing captain and an amazing friend, deserves it most of all.

As a result, though, Nursey is bringing more energy to practice that ever, which means he’s more exhausted than usual.

Nursey thinks Dex is, too, because he notices that Dex spends a lot less time going for runs and working on homework until after midnight, and a lot more time sitting in their room and watching Netflix.

That’s what Nursey finds Dex doing when he gets back to their room after class on Thursday afternoon. He’s at the desk, and doesn’t have headphones in, but Nursey doesn’t really mind. He’s just about to collapse into his bed when the theme song on the show Dex is watching plays, and Nursey realizes it sounds startlingly familiar.

He turns to Dex’s laptop and squints. “Bro. Is that _Bojack Horseman?_ ”

Dex glances up at Nursey. “Yeah. Do you watch it?”

“Dude,” Nursey says, moving to stand behind Dex’s chair so he can better see his screen. “I _love Bojack._  What season are you on?”

“Four,” Dex replies.

“What a season,” Nursey says with approval, and then adds, trying to sound casual, “Anyway...do you like it? Who are your favorite characters?” Before Dex can answer, Nursey continues, “Just a warning, these answers may make or break our friendship.”

Dex rolls his eyes but pauses the show, turning his chair around so he’s facing Nursey. “So it took me a little while to get into it, but I kind of really like it? Even though it seems like a show Shitty would watch while he’s high.” Shitty has  _ definitely  _ watched  _ Bojack  _ while he was high before, but Nursey doesn’t say this to Dex. “It’s funny, but it’s also super deep, which is interesting.”

“Right!” Nursey agrees emphatically.

“I don’t know who my favorite is, though,” Dex says. “Maybe Todd?” Nursey grins and feels a brief surge of pride, because Todd is his favorite, too. “I like Princess Carolyn a lot, too, though.”

“PC is cool,” Nursey agrees. “But Todd is the best.”

“I’d kill for Todd,” Dex announces, once again melodramatic. Nursey is beginning to think they’ve been spending too much time together. He nods back at the screen. “You wanna watch?”

And Nursey should say no, because he has a lot of reading he needs to do before class tomorrow. But honestly, the idea of procrastinating that reading by watching a cartoon about a depressed, alcoholic horse with Dex sounds too inviting, so he says, “Sure.”

Dex grabs his laptop and once the two of them are settled in Nursey’s bunk amongst his millions of pillows, he presses play. It’s nice and almost comfortable, hanging out with Dex like this, even if it’s not something he ever imagined for them last semester. 

He thinks he could get used to it, though.

He starts to dwell on the thought that  _ Bojack Horseman _ is different from other cartoons in that when things are broken they aren’t magically fixed by the next episode, which relates really well to the overall theme that actions have consequences, and turns to Dex to inform him of this revelation only to discover that he’s fast asleep, head slumped against Nursey’s shoulder.

_ Dex looks remarkably more chill in his sleep than he does when he’s awake, _ Nursey thinks to himself, and hits “Next Episode,” lowering the volume just a bit.

When Dex wakes up about half an hour later, softly yawning, blushing slightly, and stammering an apology for falling asleep on top of him, Nursey tells him it’s no problem and determinedly ignores the way his stomach flips a little bit. 

\--

Nursey has to admit, he’s started enjoying his birthdays a lot more now that he’s in college. This probably has something to do with the fact that his friends at Samwell don’t prioritize their romantic dates with their significant others over spending time with him every single year, like everybody at Andover was all too willing to do.

That, and the cherry pie Bitty makes him every year is the bomb. 

His birthday junior year is just as amazing as the ones previous — Bitty makes everyone sing happy birthday to him at practice, all of his friends wish him happy birthday throughout the day, and Dex and Chowder even let him put pineapple on the pizza they order for dinner. There’s no kegster or anything — his birthday has fallen on a Tuesday — but he and Louis are planning a kegster for the weekend, and he’s pretty sure Shitty, Lardo, Ransom, and Holster are making the trip down, so needless to say, he’s excited.

Unfortunately, though, birthdays do not exempt you from homework, so after dinner, Nursey goes up to his room to get some reading done. Dex is there, too, working on a coding assignment at the desk, and the two of them do their work in silence until Dex stops aggressively smashing the keys of his laptop to announce, “So, I got you a present.” 

Nursey looks up from his book, eyes wide. “You’re kidding.”

Dex just raises his eyebrows at Nursey and pulls a paper bag covered with hearts out of the bottom drawer of the desk. When Nursey eyes the festive decorations, Dex flushes. “Shut up,” he says, though Nursey hasn’t said anything yet. “It was the only thing I could find.”

Nursey smirks and takes the bag, pulling out the wrapping paper to reveal… “You got me...nasal strips?”

Nursey holds the package up, eyebrows raised, and Dex takes it. “No, I got  _ me  _ nasal strips,” he corrects. Nursey just stares. “For snoring,” Dex adds.

Nursey blinks, and then his eyes fill with awe. “Dex,” he says solemnly. “This is the greatest gift anyone has ever gotten me.”

Dex laughs, and it’s loud and genuine, not one of his typical snorts that’s more of a grunt than anything else. It’s a laugh that  _ Nursey  _ has certainly never been able to pull out of Dex, at the very least, so he smiles a little to himself.

“You’re welcome,” Dex says, and spins back to his desk.

And Nursey has already received quite a few gifts — a pie from Bitty, a book he’d had his eye on mailed by his moms, and a handmade card with hockey player doodles and a heartfelt note on it from Chowder. But Nursey thinks Dex’s present might be his favorite out of all of them.

Nursey has a couple of guesses as to why. The most obvious, of course, is that the relief he feels about maybe never hearing Dex’s awful snoring again can’t even be described in words. But honestly, Nursey is...sort of touched, actually. Sure, it’s a weird way to feel about a box of nasal strips, but Nursey hadn’t been expecting a gift from Dex at all, even though they  _ are  _ friends now. 

It just feels nice, Nursey decides, knowing that Dex thought about him. Maybe not as nice as the full night of sleep Nursey gets for the first time since Dex became his roommate, but still. Pretty nice.

\--

Nursey panics as soon as he sees the guy from his Women in Gothic Lit class last semester walk into Annie’s.

_ Please don’t see me,  _ Nursey thinks desperately, trying to hide discreetly behind his coffee cup, and even when Noah’s eyes catch Nursey’s across the room, he thinks to himself,  _ Please don’t come this way. _

The universe must have something against him, however, because Noah’s eyes light up as soon as he spots Nursey, and he immediately begins to stroll towards his table, still wearing that annoying cocky smirk he would get every time he thought he said something particularly intelligent last semester.

“Derek, hey!” Noah says. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

It’s true. In fact, the moment Nursey realized that he had zero classes with Noah this semester was the happiest moment of his life.

To Noah, he just shrugs and gives him a small, “Oh well,” smile. He hopes that maybe if he speaks as little as possible, Noah will get the hint and walk away, even t hough he’s never been very good at getting hints before.

“How are your classes this year?” Noah asks.

_ Pretty good without you in any of them to make subtly misogynistic comments,  _ Nursey thinks to himself, but just shrugs in response.

“Yeah, I’m in American Lit II and Howell is a total hard-ass,” Noah says with a groan. Nursey takes a sip of a coffee to hide his smirk. Howell is only a hard-ass to the students she hates. “You took that class last year, right?”

Nursey hesitates before nodding. He’s not sure he likes where this conversation is going. And also, where the hell is Dex? How long does it take to get a black coffee?

“Maybe you could come over to mine and tutor me? And we could go out for dinner after?” Noah suggests hopefully. When Nursey doesn’t respond, he continues, “You know, we never actually talked about what happened that night at the kegster...”

“You asked if I wanted to hook up and I said no,” Nursey says flatly. “What else is there to talk about?”

Noah frowns. “Yeah, but before that I thought we had — ”

“It took literally ten minutes for me to get this black coffee,” Dex says, flopping into empty seat across from Nursey. Nursey feels his body flood with relief. “Seriously,  _ ten minutes.  _ For a  _ black coffee.  _ And — ” Dex breaks off mid-rant when he notices Noah, and furrows his eyebrows, looking at him and then back at Nursey. “Who’s this?”

Nursey bites back a laugh. “Dex, this is Noah. We had a class together last semester. Noah, this is Dex,” he says, and before he can decide whether or not it’s a good idea, adds on, “My boyfriend.”

Noah and Dex both freeze, and Nursey kicks Dex’s leg lightly under the table.  _ Play along,  _ he tries to telepathically communicate to him.

Apparently it works, because Dex just clears his throat and says, “Yep,” before taking a sip of his coffee. Nursey hopes Noah doesn’t notice how scarlet Dex’s skin is.

“Oh,” Noah says in a strangled sort of voice. Nursey smiles innocently at him. “Uh...how long have you been dating?”

“Since...oh, what was it, September?” Nursey glances at Dex, and after a beat he plays along, dutifully nodding. The infamous kegster Noah referred to earlier had been in October.

Noah must realize that, too, because he has a funny expression on his face. “Oh,” he says again.

Dex looks between Nursey and Noah again and raises his eyebrows. “Why, is there a problem?”

“No, of course not,” Noah says a little too quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you guys on your date.” Dex’s face returns to a shade of pink, so Nursey kicks him under the table again. He shoots Nursey a glare. “I’ll see you later, Derek?”

Nursey takes a sip of his coffee. “Maybe,” he says.

Noah has the decency to look embarrassed. “Right. Uh, anyway. Bye.”

And, blessedly, he leaves.

As soon as Nursey sees the door to Annie’s swing shut, Nursey lets out a sigh of relief. “You are literally my hero,” he tells Dex.

Dex frowns. “Who  _ was  _ that?”

“This annoying guy from my Women in Gothic Lit class last semester. I mean, he didn’t get  _ really  _ annoying until he tried to get me to sleep with him at the Halloween Kegster last year and refused to take no for an answer until Bitty intervened. But still. Annoying nonetheless.”

Dex raises his eyebrows, and Nursey sincerely hopes that Dex doesn’t ask any more questions. This is Dex, so there’s a small possibility that Nursey would answer them, but still. It’s 10 am. That’s too early to get into a “why did you say no” conversation.

But Dex doesn’t ask any questions. Instead he says, “He sounds like a dick.”

“Total dick,” Nursey agrees. “But hey. Thanks for covering for me and being my fake boyfriend on such short notice.”

“Well, I’d appreciate further notice next time,” Dex says with a small eye-roll. “But yeah, no problem. Got your back.”

“Yeah,” Nursey tells him, sincere. “I know.”

Dex tries to hide his smile in his coffee cup, but Nursey sees it anyway.

\--

“Heyyyy, Dexy?”

Dex, who is putting an awful lot of effort into stacking the creamers on their table into a pyramid, looks up. “Yeah?”

The two of them are at Jerry’s because Nursey had been craving blueberry waffles, and Dex had agreed to go only after Nursey had bribed him by offering to pay for both of their meals. Chowder was supposed to tag along, as well, but he’d claimed he had to work on an assignment.

Nursey is beginning to suspect that sometimes Chowder makes up excuses to get out of frog outings. It could be because he wants Nursey and Dex to bond — which is ridiculous, because they  _ live  _ together — but more than likely, it’s because Chowder wants to have sex with his girlfriend while the two people who live directly next to him are gone.

Regardless, though, Nursey is actually glad Chowder bowed out of their Jerry’s trip this morning, because there’s something he’s been meaning to talk to Dex about.

“So, remember last semester when we were constantly trying to out-prank each other?”

Dex narrows his eyes at Nursey and then resumes stacking the creamers. “Vividly.”

“Well, as you may be aware...April first is just around the corner,” Nursey says. “And I was thinking how it might be nice if we combined forces and used our powers for good instead of evil.”

Dex looks up at Nursey, then leans back against the booth, quirking an eyebrow. “Combine forces, huh?”

“Dex, come on. We  _ killed  _ it at those pranks. I mean, you didn’t have as much of a knack for it as I did — ”

“Debatable.”

Nursey rolls his eyes. “I’m just saying, if we worked together, we’d be unstoppable. We would be icons. This April Fool’s Day, we have the chance to go down in Haus History.” He pauses for dramatic effect, then says, “So, are you in?”

Dex makes the face he usually does when he’s trying to pretend like he thinks Nursey is being annoying but is actually secretly amused. Nursey recognizes the expression because it’s one Dex makes often. “I’m assuming you’ve already come up with an elaborate plan and I pretty much have no choice but to help you.”

“Aw, Dex,” Nursey says. “You know me so well.”

\--

Chowder is their first target. The idea is simple enough, and Dex is actually the one to come up with it — they tape an air-horn to the wall protector on Chowder’s side of the bathroom. When Chowder opens up his door, he screams almost as loud as the air-horn does. Nursey records the entire thing.

“Oh, I’m playing that at you and Farms’ wedding,” Nursey tells Chowder, who crosses his arms in front of his chest and glares at him and Dex. Dex is laughing too loud to say anything at all. Chowder tears the air-horn from the wall and throws it at him.

Their next target is Bitty. Nursey and Dex struggle a bit with coming up with a plan to prank him — they know messing with anything in the kitchen is off-limits unless they want to their bodies to be found in the pond off of Lake Quad — but eventually it’s Nursey’s idea to wrap a zip-tie around a can of Febreeze, pull the zip-tie on the trigger, toss it in Bitty’s room, and run. Bitty emerges from his room minutes later, coughing and spluttering. “See if I let y’all get any pie for the rest of the week,” he tells Nursey and Dex with withering looks, who are laughing so hard they can barely hear him.

They prank Ollie and Wicks the most because, frankly, they deserve it. Sure, Nursey has barely spoken three words to the two of them in his whole life, and honestly, he still hasn’t figured out which one is which, but he knows for a fact that at least  _ one  _ of them is behind the dicks that are sloppily drawn on his forehead every time he gets blackout drunk at a kegster.

They replace Ollie’s (or is it Wicks’?) laptop and pictures with cardboard cut to be the same shape as the items they replace. Nursey even writes “[insert cliche family pic here]” into the picture he replaces of Ollie’s family at Disney World. Meanwhile, Dex replaces all of Wicks’ (or is it Ollie’s?) decorations with posters from  _ Twilight. _

“Why  _Twilight?_ ” Nursey had asked, giggling as he watched Dex tape a picture of Taylor Lautner’s face above Ollie’s bed.

“Dude,” Dex said. “Do you not remember the kegster where Ollie proceeded to read a 10k  _ Twilight  _ fanfiction? Out loud?” Nursey shook his head. “Well, consider yourself lucky. I’m pretty sure he was fully sober, too.”

Then, for good measure, they flip all of their furniture upside down.

Their pranks don’t stop there — they put sticky-notes all over Tango’s car, replace all of Whiskey’s notes with pictures of Nicolas Cage, put toothpaste in Ford’s oreos, and for their grand finale, fill all of the soap bottles in the Haus with lube. 

By the end of the day, the team is so furious with Nursey and Dex that they refuse to speak to them, but Nursey doesn’t think he’s ever laughed so hard in his life.

“Think Bitty’s gonna make us run extra drills at practice tomorrow?” Dex asks Nursey as the two of them are getting ready for bed. He’s in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, but he’d left the door to their room open so they could hear each other.

“Oh, 100%,” Nursey replies as he pulls on a pair of pajama pants. “But isn’t it sorta worth it?”

“You’re not gonna be saying that tomorrow,” Dex says, then admits, “But honestly, it is worth it just a little bit.” He rinses his toothbrush and makes his way back into their room.

Nursey suddenly bursts out laughing, and Dex raises his eyebrows at him, but looks a little amused. “Sorry,” Nursey wheezes. “I just — I just keep remembering the look of  _ total disgust  _ on Wicks’ face when he realized the soap was  _ lube —  _ ”

And then Dex starts laughing, too, until the two of them are doubled over, wheezing. Dex is laughing so hard he has to sit down on Nursey’s bed. “ _ God, _ ” Dex says, with another wheeze. “You know what, this is the best idea you’ve ever had.” Nursey preens at the compliment until Dex says, “On second thought, it’s probably also the only  _ good  _ idea you’ve ever had — ”

“Hey!” Nursey objects, offended. “I  _ always  _ have good ideas.”

Dex rolls his eyes, but he’s still sort of laughing, so it takes away from whatever effect he’s going for. “Hey, uh,” he says suddenly, and casts his eyes downward. “I’m glad — well, I’m glad we’re not at each other’s throats anymore.” He glances up at Nursey, then looks back down again. “I like being friends with you.”

Nursey feels himself smile. “Yeah?”

Dex looks up, actually holding eye-contact this time. “Yeah.”

Nursey feels the signature flip of his stomach he’s started to associate with whenever Dex looks at him a certain way. “Well, you’re not half-bad yourself, Poindexter.”

“Shut up,” Dex says, shoving him, but his grin rivals Nursey’s.

\--

It’s a Saturday night, they’re throwing Bitty’s last kegster at the Haus, and Nursey is drunk.

Like, really, really drunk.

In all fairness, he has good reason to be drunk. Firstly, he’s celebrating with the rest of his team — Bitty miraculously finished his thesis and will be graduating next week, and even better, they won playoffs. It was an exhilarating win, too, one of those games where both teams are neck-and-neck the entire time, and for a second, Nursey hadn’t thought they would win at all. But with three seconds left in the game, Bitty had scored the winning shot, and they’d come home with a trophy bigger than Nursey’s head.

It’s maybe the proudest Nursey has felt in his entire life. His dad even called after he heard the news to tell him he was proud of him. Nursey doesn’t think his dad has  _ ever _ told him he’s proud of him before.

So he’d had a few drinks to celebrate. Sue him. But then, a few cups of tub juice in, he’d started thinking about how this  _ really is  _ Bitty’s last kegster — that Bitty is graduating and leaving Samwell — and he’d felt a little sad so he decided to drink some more. And then a few drinks after that, Holster — who, of course, had come down to celebrate their playoffs win with Jack, Shitty, Ransom, and Lardo — had made some comment about how Nursey should watch his liquor if he’s planning on bringing the girl from his African American lit class he’d been flirting with up to his room later. 

And it was a joke, not meant to be a snide comment or anything to take seriously, but it had felt snide to Nursey anyway, so he’d had a few drinks more, and now he’s drunk.

But it’s chill. Nursey is chill. It’s not as if it matters what Holster thinks about him — not when the entire student body thinks the exact same thing. And anyway, by the time he’s finished this game of beer pong, he’ll be so drunk that he won’t remember it at all.

It looks like the game isn’t going to last long, however, because Nursey is failing spectacularly at it, much to the chagrin of Bully, his partner. They’ve been going for fifteen minutes and he hasn’t scored a single point yet. When the ball lands outside the cup for about the tenth time, he thinks for a moment Bully is going to strangle him, until he feels someone tug at his arm. 

“Dex!” Nursey cries excitedly when he turns and sees his roommate. Dex raises his eyebrows, either in reaction to Nursey’s volume or excitement. Maybe it’s both. “How have you been?”

“You saw me two hours ago, Nursey.”

“It feels like  _ thirty  _ hours ago,” Nursey informs him, and then adds, “I missed you,” just to see if Dex will turn pink. He does. 

Nursey grins. He’s found himself a little fascinated by Dex’s blushes lately.  Only a little, though. It’s not a big deal.

“How much have you had to drink?” Dex asks.

“A lot,” Nursey informs him somberly.

Dex rolls his eyes. “Alright, c’mon. Let’s get you to bed.”

“But I’m playing this,” Nursey says, gesturing to the table in front of him.

Bully turns to Dex. “Please, for the love of God, make him leave. At this point, I’d be doing better at this game by myself.”

Dex laughs at that, which Nursey personally thinks is mean of him, and tells him so. Dex rolls his eyes again, which he does a lot, and drags Nursey away from the table and towards the stairs, one arm over his shoulder. He thinks Dex doesn’t roll his eyes at Nursey as much as he used to, though, which is nice. He tells Dex this, too, and he rolls his eyes again. Nursey is pretty sure he just does it on purpose that time.

“Just shut up so I can concentrate on carrying you up to your room,” he tells Nursey, although there’s no malice in his voice.

“Yeah, okay,” Nursey says, feeling agreeable. “I’ll let you take care of me. You always take care of me, huh, Dexy?” 

Dex goes pink again, and Nursey watches as the blush spreads from the tips of his ears all the way down to his neck. He thinks it looks kind of like when you light a piece of paper on fire and watch the flames slowly consume the paper. 

This he  _ does not  _ say out loud. 

When they get to their room, Dex deposits Nursey on the bed gently and throws him a pair of sweats and a hoodie that may or may not belong to him. Then he goes to the bathroom while Nursey changes, nevermind the fact that they’ve seen each other naked in the locker room a million times. When he’s done, Dex re-emerges from the bathroom and drags Nursey in to make sure he brushes his teeth, despite his complaints. “You’ll thank me later,” Dex tells him.

“Dex,” Nursey says as he’s crawling into bed.

Dex sighs. “What, Nursey.”

“You know what I hate?”

“No, but I’m pretty sure you’re gonna tell me anyway.”

Nursey exhales. “I really hate ass — ass — asssss…”

“You hate ass?” Dex asks, amused.

“No. Shut up. I wasn’t finished,” Nursey says, swatting Dex on the arm. “I hate...dammit. What’s the word where you think something about someone else that’s wrong.”

Dex raises his eyebrows. “Assumptions?”

“Yes!” Nursey says. “I hate those.”

“Uh-huh,” Dex says in a voice that sounds like he doesn’t totally know what Nursey’s saying but is trying to appease his drunken ramblings anyway.

“Like. You know.” Nursey waves his hands around, searching for words. “It’s just annoying.”

“Sure it is.”

“Like. Jus’ because I flirt. Sometimes. With people. That doesn’t mean I’m like. Some sort of slut. Or whatever.”

_ Now  _ Dex looks like he’s paying attention. “Who said that to you?” He asks, voice sharp, and Nursey winces. He is way too drunk for Sharp Voice Dex™️.

“No one  _ said, _ ” he tells Dex, flinging his arms over his face and groaning. “But that’s what everyone thinks.”

He can’t see Dex anymore, but he can practically hear the frown in his voice when he says, “I’m sure no one thinks that, Nursey.”

Nursey shrugs and doesn’t lower his arms. “IDK. Everyone thinks I’m like. Always fuckin’ somebody. Just because I like to flirt with people. S’not chill.” Dex doesn’t say anything, so Nursey continues, sighing, “I’m never really fuckin’ anybody. Y’know? I’m kinda ass — asssss…”

“You’re kinda ass?”

“No. Stop it,” Nursey says. “What’s the word for — oh! Asexual. That’s what it is.”

Dex is silent again, until he finally says, “Oh,” in a sort of funny voice. Nursey still doesn’t lower his arms, only this time it’s not because of laziness, but because he’s pretty sure if he sees the expression on Dex’s face it’ll make everything way more awkward than this situation already is.

Dex clears his throat. “So — ”

“Y’know, I’m kinda tired,” Nursey interrupts, because he is, and he’s also drunk, and he also isn’t in the mood to deal with whatever conversation Dex is trying to instigate. “Can you turn the lights off?”

Dex clears his throat again, but his voice sounds almost normal when he says, “Yeah, sure.” A few minutes later, the lights are off, and Nursey is listening to the sounds of Dex climbing back into his bunk.

“Thanks,” Nursey says to the slats of the bunk above him as Dex settles into bed. “For helpin’ me out. And stuff.”

Nursey is half-asleep when Dex finally responds with a “Got your back,” voice soft and sincere.

\--

The next morning, Nursey wakes up with the worst headache he’s ever had in his life.

“You said that last kegster,” Dex points out after Nursey voices his misery out loud.

Still groggy, Nursey slowly sits up. Dex is, predictably, at the desk, even though it’s ass o’clock in the morning, and it’s a Sunday. He fumbles for his phone on the bedside table to check the time, and sees that it’s actually almost noon. 

_ Maybe not ass o’clock in the morning. _

“I’m never drinking again,” Nursey declares.

“Said that last kegster, too.” Nursey makes a face at Dex’s back, grumbling, and Dex flips him off without turning around. “There’s Advil and water next on the bedside table.” Nursey groans and swallows the pills, and then chugs the entire glass in about ten seconds.

“So, uh…” Dex says, and looks at Nursey out of the corner of his eye. “How much of last night do you remember?”

Nursey looks down at his phone and begins to scroll through his notifications. “Most of it,” he says, as nonchalant as he can.

Dex hesitates, and for a second, Nursey thinks he’s going to drop it, but instead he swivels his desk chair around. “So, about what you said — ”

Nursey sighs. “Dex, if you say, ‘thank you for trusting me with this moment,’ I swear to God.”

Dex looks down. “I wasn’t going to say that,” he says in the most unconvincing tone imaginable. Nursey snorts and rolls his eyes. “I mean. It’s okay. It’s not a big deal.”

Nursey instantly feels himself become defensive. “Why would it even be a big deal in the first place?”

“No, that’s not — ” Dex stammers. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant — shit. I’m not very good at this.” Nursey snorts again. “Maybe I should call Shitty.”

“Shitty knows,” Nursey says. “So if you’re gonna do the whole supportive ‘your identity is valid’ pep talk thing, don’t worry. He covered it for you like, two years ago.”

“I wasn’t trying to do that, either.”

“You don’t have to  _ do  _ anything.” He knows he sounds defensive, maybe a little  _ too  _ defensive, but he’s way too hungover to sound anything but.

“I know, I’m just — ” Dex sighs, frustrated. “Look, I’m ace, too. Okay?”

Nursey blinks. Whatever Dex had been gearing up to say, he certainly hadn’t been expecting  _ that.  _ “Huh.” Dex shifts and avoids looking at Nursey, clearly embarrassed, so he adds, “Thank you for trusting me with this moment.”

“Oh my  _God,_ ” Dex huffs, and Nursey cracks a grin. “You’re the worst.”

“Pretty sure I’m the best, actually,” Nursey corrects him, and Dex grumbles. “But, uh. I’m glad you trusted me enough. To tell me.”

Dex flushes a little and looks away. “Yeah, whatever. I’d say the same to you but you were so inebriated that I’m pretty sure you’d be willing to confide information to anyone who would listen.”

And Nursey doesn’t think that’s true, necessarily, because Dex is one of his best friends and he  _ does  _ trust him — with this and with lots more. Plus, he’s known he was ace for a while now and has never drunkenly confessed it to anyone else before, even though there’s certainly been ample opportunities. 

But he doesn’t tell Dex this. Instead, he crosses his legs, leans against his pillow, and asks, “So, who else knows?”

“Uh, you.”

Nursey waits for Dex to list more names, but when he doesn’t, his eyebrows raise. “Just me?”

“Yep.”

“Not Chowder? Not your family?”

“I think Chowder’s guessed,” Dex says. “But nope. Nobody else.”

“Why?”

Dex shrugs and picks at a loose string on his jeans. “I dunno. I mean, with some members of my family, I’d be a little worried about their reactions. Which is also why I haven’t...” He trails off. “Well, why I haven’t told them a lot of things. But mostly, with everyone else, I just don’t think it’s anyone’s business?”

It’s not exactly the reasoning Nursey was expecting, but the answer is so  _ Dex  _ that he can’t help but laugh. Dex rolls his eyes, but he’s chuckling a little, too. “I’m serious! I mean, I guess if it ever came up, I’d tell someone about it. Case in point, this entire conversation. But otherwise, I just don’t think it’s a big deal. And also the potential thought of having to explain it to someone if they don’t get it is exhausting.” Nursey shrugs, and Dex gives him a look. “I’m assuming you  _ have  _ told people.”

“Uh, a few. Shitty knows. You know, now. And my ex-girlfriend from Andover knows. I don’t actually tell that many people,” Nursey says. “It’s not a secret or anything, but I don’t like having to explain it, especially when after I’m done explaining what asexual means I have to then explain what panromantic means, or vice versa, and then they’ll say some bullshit like ‘how can you be both’ or ‘you’re too hot to be asexual.’”

Dex looks alarmed. “People have said that to you?”

Nursey makes a face. “Ex-girlfriend from Andover, specifically.”

“Jesus,” Dex says, looking at Nursey in disbelief. “That’s fucked up.”

Nursey shrugs. “I mean, it is, but I sorta get it in a way. I know I flirt a lot so I guess everyone just kinda assumes I fuck around, which — ”

“No, fuck that,” Dex interrupts. He looks angry, his eyebrows furrowed. “Just because you’re flirty and...” His ears turn pink. “...objectively attractive — that doesn’t mean people can just assume shit about you.”

Nursey gapes at him, surprised at the outburst. 

Self-conscious, Dex shifts in his seat.“Sorry. Just. It’s stupid.”

“Yeah,” Nursey says finally. “Yeah, it is.”

Dex chews on his bottom lip for a second, then adds, “And I’m sorry if I ever...assumed anything like that about you or made you feel like I made assumptions about you.”

Nursey blinks at the sincerity. “It’s okay. I mean, you didn’t know.”

“I know, but...still.” Dex shrugs. “I get it, though. I mean, I’m not…” Dex trails off, trying to come up with an accurate description, and eventually settles on, “Well,  _ you _ , so I don’t know exactly where you’re coming from. But when the other guys say shit like ‘when are you gonna get laid’...I know they don’t mean anything by it, obviously, but it’s annoying as shit.”

“Yeah, well,” Nursey shrugs. “At least now you have someone to complain about it with.”

Dex just looks at him for a little while, then slowly smiles. “Yeah. I guess I do.”

Nursey smiles back.

\--

After Bitty’s last kegster, something in Nursey’s dynamic with Dex shifts. He’s not sure if it’s a change that an outsider would notice, or anything, but Nursey certainly notices.

It’s like this — when Nursey has a bad day, he goes back to his room to talk to Dex. When he has a good day, he goes back to his room to talk to Dex. When he wants to complain about his friend in high school who told him asexuality wasn’t a thing or the girl in his politics class who thinks slavery wasn’t the cause of the Civil War, he goes back to his room to talk to Dex.

It’s what they used to do before, but it’s different now, somehow. It’s almost bizarre, honestly, how close they are now, because just last semester Dex was his roommate-slash-frenemy he could hardly stand, and now Dex is one of the few people in Nursey’s life who knows him best.

And it’s not the ace thing, really. Well, it’s partly that. But mainly, it’s the fact that Nursey doesn’t tell a lot of people that he’s ace, for a lot of reasons.  It’s not really anyone’s business, for one thing, so Nursey doesn’t feel the need to advertise it. Especially when everyone seems to have already made up their minds about how much sex they think Nursey has.

_ Chowder  _ doesn’t even know, and Nursey has told Chowder things he doesn’t think he’s ever told anyone else.

But he told  _ Dex.  _ And Nursey doesn’t know if Dex has figured it out, yet — that Nursey trusts him. Nursey certainly isn’t going to be the one to tell him — he may be a writer, but that doesn’t mean he’s always great with words.

Still, though...he sort of hopes Dex knows.

\--

By the end of their junior year, Nursey and Dex are closer than they’ve ever been.

The only problem is that things feel a little...off.

Nursey notices in the little things. Like how pleased he feels when Dex laughs so hard at something Nursey says that literal tears come out of his eyes. Or how he’s sometimes started bringing Dex a coffee and a bagel if he has a test that day, even if it means Nursey has to get up ten minutes earlier than usual in the morning. Or how sometimes when Dex sends him a funny meme with the caption “thought of you,” he smiles at his phone for five minutes straight.

And Nursey’s not an idiot — he knows what a crush feels like. But that’s not what’s happening here. It can’t be, because Dex is his roommate  _ and  _ his defense partner, and Nursey doesn’t hate himself  _ that  _ much.

So, he chalks the odd feelings up to stress — which, seriously, can do a lot to a person — and steadfastly ignores them.

\--

The semester ends with Nursey somehow passing all his exams, Ollie and Wicks giving Whiskey and Tango their dibs, Bitty giving his to Ford and bestowing Betsy 2.0 onto Dex, and Chowder earning the captaincy by a unanimous vote. 

Nursey hadn’t been surprised — though Chowder, who cried accepting the captaincy, apparently had been. What  _ had _ surprised him was the announcement that he and Dex would serve as on-ice alternate captains for the following year, due to the NCAA’s strict rule proclaiming goalies couldn’t be captains.

Dex looks just as stunned as Nursey is by the announcement, and the newly-instated responsibility makes Nursey feel a little nervous about his upcoming senior year, but also a little excited, too.

On the day after their last exam, Nursey and Dex pack their room up in relative silence. They’d just finished saying goodbye to Bitty a mere hour ago, and everyone had cried, even Dex, who would probably never admit it. So Nursey feels a little melancholy, but he can’t help but feel a little excited for the upcoming summer at the same time. He’s been offered an internship at an Indie publishing house, and even though he’s sure he’ll be spending most of his time getting coffee, he’s eager for the opportunity. Especially because, with the publishing house’s progressive reputation and diverse employees, it seems like a place where Nursey could really find a career. 

But even though it feels like he can’t be back in New York soon enough, Nursey feels there’s something a little melancholy in the action of packing up your room for the summer. Even if he’ll be back in less than four months.

“This has been a good year, right?” Dex says now, interrupting Nursey from his thoughts.

Nursey looks up and across the room over at Dex, who is busy packing his extensive collection of flannels. “Yeah, it has,” Nursey agrees. “We actually made it a year without murdering each other.”

“Barely,” Dex says, but the left side of his mouth is tugged up in a grin.

“You know, I had a feeling we’d be okay.”

Dex raises his eyebrows, surprised. “Really?”

“Nope.”

Dex laughs, loud, with his head tilted back, and Nursey swallows and resumes packing.

\--

Nursey has an awesome summer.

His internship at the publishing house goes far better than he ever expected. He spends the first month doing little other than grabbing coffees, predictably, but by the end of the summer, he’s doing  _ real work  _ — sorting through drafts, editing grammar mistakes, even having people  _ openly ask _ for his input.

Outside of work, he spends a lot of time browsing through hole-in-the-wall book and record stores and writing poetry and maybe possibly outlining ideas for a novel, and not enough time thinking about what his senior thesis will be about.

“So basically, you’re living the life of every single other New York hipster,” Dex says during one of their weekly Skype get-togethers (he refuses to call them dates, even in his head) and Nursey rolls his eyes, even though it’s the truth.

Despite his great summer, though, Nursey is nothing but excited to start back at Samwell again. He misses his friends and he misses his team. Sure, he’s talked to both Chowder and Dex every single day of summer break, but it’s not the same as seeing them in person. 

So when the first person he sees at the Haus on move in day is Dex in the kitchen, he immediately sprints towards him, only to stop dead in his tracks once Dex turns around and practically beams at him.

Nursey would like to blame it on the fact that Dex magically got ten times hotter over the summer. Really, he would. But Dex doesn’t look all that different aside from his hair being slightly longer and his arms being slightly frecklier. 

Instead, Nursey thinks the way he practically trips over his own feet has to do with how Dex looks almost exactly the same and he’s smiling in the way that makes his eyes get all crinkled and Nursey has just realized that he really missed him and that maybe that crush from the end of junior year wasn’t as much of a fluke as he thought.

“Nursey! Hey!” Dex says, with such genuine excitement that Nursey fumbles with the box he’s carrying for a second. “Need any help with your stuff?”

“N-nope,” Nursey finally manages, giving Dex a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. “All good. Thanks.”

“Sure,” Dex says, still smiling, and Nursey turns away and starts to make his way up the steps.

\--

Nursey’s crush on Dex is, decidedly, the most inconvenient thing to ever happen to him. Because really, _Dex?_  The guy would rather cut off his own arm than talk about his feelings.

Not to mention, Nursey doesn’t even know if Dex likes guys — probably doesn’t, in fact. Hell, Nursey doesn’t know if Dex likes  _ anyone  _ — he’s never expressed any interest in anybody during their time at Samwell, so there’s always a possibility that he’s aromantic.

The worst thing about it, though, is that he should’ve seen this coming. Because the signs have been there for a while — the way his stomach would sometimes flip over something as innocent as an accidental brush of hands, the way his eyes sometimes lingered on Dex’s smile a little too long, the way he used to tease Dex just to see if he would blush in response.

But it’s whatever, because Nursey refuses to make a big deal out of it. After all, he’s nothing if not a master at ignoring problems until they go away. And it’s not like Dex is the first unattainable person he’s had a crush on before. 

He tells himself it’s chill all throughout the day — while unpacking, while sitting through team dinner, while listening to Chowder tell him about the beach vacation he’d been on with his family that summer. He tells himself it’s chill when he showers, when he gets ready for bed, and when Dex leans over the top of the bed, smiling with his hair falling in his face, and tells Nursey goodnight.

But that night, it is not chill.

Nursey has had dreams about kissing people before. He actually sort of enjoys kissing — not all the time, but when he’s in the mood, it’s fun. So it’s not weird that he has a dream about kissing someone, and it’s not weird that he has a dream about kissing _Dex,_  specifically, the night they move back into the Haus. 

It’s not even the first dream he’s had about kissing him. __ Sometime during sophomore year, he’d had a dream where he kissed Dex at a kegster one night, and then had abruptly thrown up on him, which in retrospect, was probably a nightmare. 

The point is, none of Nursey’s previous dreams about kissing somebody have meant anything, aside from the fact that he knows a lot of attractive people and he can’t help but notice that they’re attractive. And really, this dream about Dex should be no different.

Except for it is.

It starts off with Dex and Nursey on a bench on campus next to the pond off of Lake Quad. They’re holding hands and making out (something Nursey would never do in the middle of campus, with anyone, but whatever) and the pond is glimmering in the light and they’re surrounded by tulips and a couple of cute squirrels, which is...well, pretty cliche, and definitely embarrassing, but not  _ weird.  _ And he and Dex aren’t doing anything except kissing and holding hands, and Dream!Dex is a pretty good kisser, so Nursey just rolls with it. 

But the dream changes after that, and that’s when things get a little...unordinary. When he finds himself sitting on a porch next to some old guy, he at first thinks he’s having a nightmare — he’s always been sort of scared of old people — until he realizes that the old person is, in fact, Dex. Furthermore, Nursey is old, too, and he and eighty-year-old Dex are holding hands and laughing, even though both of their laughs sound more like wheezes because they’re both eighty.

And then Nursey wakes up.

For a second, he just lies there, listening to the whirring of the fan and Dex’s quiet snuffles in the bunk above his head, because even with the nasal strips Dex isn’t totally silent, something that had annoyed Nursey until over the summer he realized it was hard to sleep without the sound as background noise. 

_ I just had a dream about Dex, _  Nursey realizes.  _ Specifically, sharing romantic kisses with Dex and then growing old with him. _

But even after coming to this realization, Nursey still can’t quite wrap his head around it. This is  _ Dex.  _ Dex who’s stubborn, who’s infuriating, who doesn’t know the proper pronunciation of the word “quinoa.”

Dex, who is smart, and funny, and passionate, and surprisingly thoughtful, who  _ cares  _ so much that it’s practically tangible.

Nursey sighs and presses the heels of his hands to his eyes.

He is so fucked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of a big fan of the (non-existent) trope where the really hot, flirty, and/or popular character who everyone assumes has had sex a billion times is actually asexual, so for this fic I was like "hm wow wouldn't it be fun to apply that to Nursey" so here we are!
> 
> Also, Nursey and Dex love Bojack Horseman and you can pry that headcanon from my cold, dead hands.


	3. nothing is as it has been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Rivers and Roads" by the Head and the Heart

It doesn’t take long for Dex to notice that something’s off with Nursey.

He’s quieter, for one thing. Dex and Nursey talked all the time last semester, and they texted nearly every day over summer, but Nursey barely speaks to him now. Dex barely even _sees_ Nursey, actually — he spends most of his time in the library or the English department, finding sources or making edits to his senior thesis.

Even weirder, it feels like Nursey never sleeps nowadays, either. When Dex settles into bed every night, Nursey is nowhere to be found, and every time Dex texts him to ask where he is, he says he’s studying in the library. He makes it back to their room at some point, because Dex has to wake him up for practice in the morning, but God knows what time he goes to bed every night.

Even on the bus on roadies, Nursey doesn’t sleep. Before, he’d be knocked out and leaning on Dex’s shoulder five minutes into the trip, and now, he sits what feels like several feet but what must only be several inches away from Dex, silent with headphones in.

It almost feels like Nursey is avoiding him. Maybe not completely — he sees him at practice and at team breakfast, and Nursey responds to his texts most of the time, but he’s rarely in their room, and Nursey hardly ever texts Dex first anymore. He's used to receiving at least two memes a day from Nursey.

Dex is trying not to feel offended. Really, he is. But Nursey is his friend — his _best_ friend, if he’s being honest — and Dex misses spending time with him. He’s starting to worry he did something wrong.

It gets to the point where Dex goes to Chowder about it. “Hey,” he says one day when the two of them are in Chowder’s room working on an assignment. “Have you seen much of Nursey lately?”

“Not really,” Chowder says, looking up from his laptop with a frown. Dex would never admit it, but he feels a little relieved to know that he’s not the only one Nursey is seemingly avoiding. “I’ve been a little worried about him.”

Dex sighs. “Yeah. Me too.”

“Maybe we should hold an intervention?” Chowder suggests. “Handcuff and drag him to Jerry’s for brunch on Sunday?”

Dex snorts, but says, “Yeah, okay.”

The intervention doesn’t actually go as horribly as Dex thought it might. Chowder is the one who brings it up to Nursey, who, at first, objects, claiming he has a paper due Sunday night.

“Dude. Blueberry waffles,” Dex points out.

Nursey caves not long after that.

“So,” Chowder says to Nursey as the three are sitting in a booth Sunday morning. Dex is continuing his tradition of trying to make the tallest pyramid of creamers Jerry’s has ever seen. “We kinda noticed you haven’t been around much lately.”

“Oh, God,” Nursey groans. “Is this an intervention?”

Dex, who has been on the receiving end of several of Chowder’s interventions, bites back a smile.

“We’re just worried about you,” Chowder insists. “We wanted to see what was up.”

Nursey rolls his eyes. “Guys, I’m  _fine._ I’m just dying from stress.”

“You haven’t been sleeping,” Dex points out.

Nursey fidgets a little. “So? I can sleep when I’m dead.”

“Nursey,” Chowder says.

“Look,” Nursey says. “I really promise I’m okay. I’m just...really stressed right now, and I probably will be until December when my twenty page essay is done and finished and turned in. Yes, _twenty pages,_ ” Nursey adds when he sees Dex and Chowder’s eyes widen.

Dex suddenly feels bad about giving Nursey shit for being an English major for the past three years.

“You’re sure that’s all this is?” He asks anyway, hesitant.

“Yes,” Nursey tells Dex, holding his gaze, and it sounds, for the most part, sincere.

“Alright,” Dex concedes. “Just — could you at least _try_ to go to sleep at a decent time? At least once?”

“Sure, Mom.”

Dex sticks his tongue out at him, and Nursey smirks.

So Dex starts getting used to spending his nights alone in their room instead of laughing with Nursey over funny Vines, and pretends like it doesn’t bother him.

\--

Throughout his time at Samwell, Dex has been fortunate enough to have either Tango or Chowder in one of his comp-sci classes. Any time he’s struggled over a particularly challenging question in a problem-set, or needed a partner for an assignment, he’s known exactly who to turn to.

But his luck finally runs out senior year, when he ends up in a comp-sci class where he doesn’t know a soul, meaning when they’re assigned a group project, Dex ends up paired with Olivia, the junior who sits in front of him.

It’s not necessarily a _huge_ issue, because Olivia is nice and actually pretty smart. But Dex hates group projects, especially when they’re with people he doesn’t know, so he’s still a little bitter about it.

Fortunately, most of the project can be completed separately, so Dex doesn’t actually have to interact with Olivia much outside of texting. Still, they decide it’d be a good idea to meet in person a few days before the project is due, so Dex suggests they meet in his room. He doesn’t think it will be a problem, especially since Nursey has hardly been around this semester, but when he and Olivia arrive, Nursey is there, searching through his drawers.

“Hey Dex, have you — ” Nursey begins as soon as the door opens, but he cuts himself off when he turns around and realizes Dex isn’t alone.

“Hey.” Dex tries not to act outwardly surprised at seeing Nursey in their room. He's still always camped out in the library, but he doesn’t stay out as late as he used to anymore, so their intervention partially worked. Sometimes, though, Dex wakes up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and Nursey is still awake in the bottom bunk, scribbling notes. “Sorry, if I knew you were gonna be here I would’ve texted you.”

“It’s chill,” Nursey says, and eyes Olivia, curious.

“Oh, this is Olivia, by the way,” Dex says. Olivia smiles and waves. “Olivia, this is my roommate, Nur — Derek.”

“Oh, okay,” Nursey says.  “Uh, hey.”

He still looks kind of confused, and keeps glancing at Olivia out of the corner of his eye, which is...weird. Dex wants to ask what’s up, but for all he knows, Olivia is one of the students from Nursey’s politics class last semester that was not-so-subtly racist. And if Olivia is secretly a terrible person, he doesn’t want to find out. This project is painful enough as it is, and he kind of just wants it to be over.

Dex throws his book-bag down next to its usual place near the desk. “I figured you would’ve been in the library by now, honestly,” Dex says to Nursey, and hopes his tone isn’t as bitter as he feels.

Nursey looks away from Olivia and shrugs. “Yeah, that’s where I’m headed, but I can’t find my Patagonia.”

And Nursey owns like three-hundred Patagonias, but he only ever wears one, so Dex asks, “The blue and orange and purple one?” Nursey nods. “You left it on the closet floor.”

Nursey looks dubious, but walks over to the closet and peeks in. “Huh,” he says after a moment. “I guess I did.”

Dex shoots Olivia a look, hoping she interprets his expression as something along the lines of, “Sorry about my dumbass roommate.” Olivia smiles at him politely, and when Dex turns back to the closet, he finds that _he’s_ now on the receiving end of one of Nursey’s weird looks.

Dex raises his eyebrows at him and Nursey turns away to pull his Patagonia over his head. He’s ready for Nursey to leave so he and Olivia can get this project over with, but a few minutes later, Nursey is still there, rummaging through the drawers in their closet for some reason.

“Hey, so, uh…” Dex trails off. Honestly, he feels really bad about kicking Nursey out of his room, especially since this is the first time Dex has seen him in it between 8 am and 10 pm all semester, but he and Olivia really need to finish this project. “We kinda need the room, so do you mind…”

Nursey blinks at Dex, then at Olivia, and then says, “Oh, right. Yeah, sure. I was on my way to the library anyway.”

“Okay,” Dex replies, even though Nursey had told him that earlier. “Um, see you later tonight?”

“Yeah. Chill,” Nursey says, grabs his bag, and leaves without another word.

Once Nursey is gone, Olivia turns to Dex and raises an eyebrow. “Does he think we’re gonna fuck on his bed or something?”

Dex stares. “ _What?_ ”

Olivia shrugs. “I dunno, it just seemed like he was acting weird. And my roommate had sex on _my_ bed last year, so I’d say I’m pretty good at recognizing the expression of someone who knows their roommate has had sex on their bed before and is praying they won’t do it again.”

And yeah, Nursey was acting weird, but he knows that Dex has never had sex on his bed — or literally anywhere else for that matter— so that’s definitely not a reasonable explanation. But Dex can’t exactly admit this to a girl he’d never spoken to until a week ago, so he says, “I’ve never had sex on my roommate’s bed.”

Olivia shrugs again and blessedly changes the subject.

But even after their project is finished and Olivia has gone back to her own dorm, Dex is still thinking about Nursey’s weird behavior. When he gets back from the library just before eleven, Dex has half a mind to ask about it, but before he can, Nursey says, “So, how was your….”

Dex waits for Nursey to finish, and when he doesn’t, says, “Study session?” And when Nursey looks at Dex in surprise, he feels everything click into place. “Wait. Did you think that was a date?”

Nursey looks a little embarrassed. “Maybe?”

And there are, frankly, a lot of things wrong with Nursey’s assumption. But what Dex settles on first is, “You think I’d take a girl to _our room_ for a date?”

“Well, I don’t know!” Nursey says. “I’ve never _seen_ you go on a date! Maybe this is your idea of romance! And I've literally never seen you hang out with anyone not in the hockey team so assuming she was just a friend seemed a little far-fetched.”

Dex, lying down in the top bunk, lifts his head up to ensure that Nursey will see his eye-roll. “Firstly, rude. Secondly, you’ve never seen me go on a date because I’ve never _been on one_ , and thirdly, I’m definitely never going to take a girl to _our_ room for the  _first one._ ”

Nursey pauses. “You’ve never been on a date?”

Dex busies himself with fluffing his pillow. “No.”

“Oh,” Nursey says. He chews on his bottom lip for a second and then asks, “Can I ask you something?”

Dex sighs. “I’m not aromantic.”

“Oh,” Nursey says again.

Dex starts playing the loose thread on his pajama pants. “I mean. I thought I might be. For a little while. But then — ” _I met you,_ his brain unhelpfully supplies. “...I figured out I wasn’t,” he finishes.

“Huh,” Nursey says, thoughtful, and then sits down in Dex’s usual seat at the desk. “I mean, you could be gray-aromantic still. There’s a spectrum.”

And honestly, Dex probably _is_ gray-aromantic, but again, he isn’t sure he feels comfortable using a bunch of labels. He has nothing against people who do, but it just isn’t for him. So he just shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Okay,” Nursey says, sounding sincere and understanding and it strikes Dex just how much he really _has_ missed talking to Nursey these past few weeks. “I’m sorry I assumed anything. I was just — I don’t know. Jumping to conclusions. Which wasn’t chill, especially because I hate it when people pull that kind of shit with me.”

Dex feels himself soften. “Nursey, hey. It’s fine. I’m not mad or anything.”

Nursey smiles a little gratefully, and then changes the subject. “In my defense, you didn’t mention anything about a project. You just said, ‘Hey, Nursey, here’s this girl, get out of our room.’”

Dex thinks back. “Okay, fair,” he finally admits.

Nursey laughs and shakes his head. “I’m gonna take a shower and get ready for bed,” he says, standing up. “Goodnight, Dex.”

“Night, Nursey,” Dex says. Nursey steps into the bathroom to shower, and he tries not to wonder how long it’ll be before he has another conversation with Nursey that lasts longer than two minutes.

He sighs and flops back down into bed.

\--

“So, have you guys thought about what you’re gonna do after graduation yet?” Tango asks at breakfast one morning.

Dex tries not to immediately scowl at him. The “What are you doing with your life?” question is one he has a particular disdain for, most likely because the truth is he doesn’t  _know._ He’s majoring in comp-sci, and his grades are good enough to land him a job at any decent company. But the issue is, he’s not sure that’s what he really wants.

Sure, he likes comp-sci — he likes computers and he likes fixing things and he likes making good money — but he doesn’t _love_ it. He’s always known that, and was okay with it freshman year, more than willing to stick it out as a career, but after four years at Samwell...he kinda wants more.

He talked to his advisor about it last year and she recommended minoring in something else he was interested in, so that’s what he did. It was maybe a bad idea to add a minor so close to graduation, but he finished all his comp-sci credits last semester. He needed to find classes to fill his schedule for senior year, anyway.

And it’s not like he’s completely given up on finding a career in computer science post-college or anything. He’s just keeping his options open, that’s all.

The unfortunate thing about keeping your options open, though, is that whenever someone asks him what he wants to do after graduation, he’s unsure of what to say. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Dex finds the question pretty irritating, especially since Tango is about the thirtieth person to ask him all semester. It’s not even November yet.

But Chowder, unbothered by Tango’s questions as per usual, answers first. “Well, I always figured I’d end up going back to California with Cait. But now that I’m getting scouted by all of these teams, I’m not sure. I guess I’ll end up living wherever my team’s at?”

In all honesty, at this point, the world is Chowder’s oyster. He’s wanted by just about every team in the NHL — yes, _including_ the Sharks — and any of them would be beyond lucky to have him. But Dex knows that despite Chowder’s claim that he’d be grateful to play for any team, he has his heart set out on one in particular.

“What about you, Nursey?” Tango asks, and Dex glances at the seat next to him, trying not to look too curious because he actually isn’t quite sure what Nursey’s plans are after graduation.

Nursey shrugs. “I’m keeping my options open, TBH. I might go back to the publishing house I interned at over the summer because I feel like they’d hire me. Or I might take a year off, get some writing done, and apply to grad schools. I’ll probs end up back in New York, though.”

Dex looks down at his pancakes and tries not to frown. For the past year or so, Dex has imagined any number of scenarios about life post-graduation, but in all of them...Nursey was there. Not as his boyfriend, necessarily — though he thought about that, sometimes, when he was feeling particularly imaginative — but just _there_ , binging _Bojack Horseman_ on Saturday nights, flying with him to all of Chowder’s Sharks games, and constantly reminding Dex to chill.

And he knows, logically, that he doesn’t have any right to be hurt by the idea that Nursey hasn’t included Dex in his future plans. Nursey’s home has always been New York, so it makes perfect sense for him to want to go back. And it’s not like he has any obligation to be roommates with Dex after graduation.

Still, though. Dex would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little hurt.

“Dex?” Tango says now, breaking him from his thoughts. “Any plans?”

Dex feels Nursey turn to face him, and shrugs. “I’m not sure yet.”

“Huh,” Tango says, sounding a little surprised, which is fair, because Dex’s usual response to the question is “I wanna make money.”

Dex glances at Nursey to see his eyebrows raised. But Dex doesn’t say anything, and turns back to his pancakes.

\--

Even though Bitty graduated last year, he, Shitty, Lardo, Ransom, Holster, and Jack visit Samwell every now and then.

It’s always hectic having so many people in the Haus at once, and the new freshmen — who have yet to receive a cute nickname — seem to find it strange that the alumni have nothing better to do than visit their old college, but Dex think it’s sort of nice. He knows these people are his friends, but they were always far closer to Bitty than they were to him or anyone else. He figured the visits would stop after Bitty’s graduation, and he’s pleasantly surprised they didn’t.

Then again, it’s always possible that the other alumni only visit because Bitty tells them to — every time an SMH alumni stops by the Haus, Bitty is with them. (Dex doesn’t mind, of course, because Bitty brings a pie or two each time.)

But the Friday before Halloween, Dex opens the door of the Haus to find not just Bitty and whichever alumni he convinced to tag along, but the whole crew.

“Dude,” Ransom says in response to Dex’s shock. “You didn’t think we’d miss the Halloween Kegster, did you?”

But the Halloween Kegster isn’t until Saturday night, so that gives them all of Friday to hang out and catch up. It’s a lot of fun, especially because Dex hasn’t seen any of them since Bitty’s graduation, and aside from Instagram — something Nursey and Chowder had forced Dex, against his will, to download last semester — he hasn’t kept up with them at all.

It’s Lardo’s idea to have a movie marathon, so they all huddle in the living room, Dex squeezed between Nursey (who's emerged from his new home in the library for the occasion) and Chowder on the brand new couch Bitty had gifted to the Haus before he left in May. They all agreed to watch a scary movie, trying to keep up the Halloween spirit, which is why Dex is a little confused when they end up putting on _The Princess and the Frog_ _._ He thinks it has something to do with the fact that Jack admitted to having never seen it, but Dex doesn’t mind. He’d die before admitting it out loud, but horror movies scare him.

“Hey,” Holster says suddenly, in the middle of the movie. “Not to be that person, but does anyone else think that Nursey is _literally_ Naveen?”

Tango looks at the screen, then at Nursey, and then again back at the screen. “I see it,” he finally decides.

“Hate to break it to you, bro, but you’re about the millionth person to tell me that,” Nursey says.

“You don’t just _look like_ him though,” Ransom says emphatically. “Like, you _are_ him.”

 

Nursey rolls his eyes but doesn't deny it, and Dex laughs a little and tries not to think about how he’d had a crush on Naveen for 2.5 seconds when this movie had first come out.

“You know,” Holster says a few minutes later, voice far too innocent. “While we’re on the subject...Dex and Tiana are kinda similar personality-wise, as well.”

Dex instantly goes red. He looks over at Nursey, expecting a chirp, but Nursey just glances at him and then looks away, laughing a little nervously.

Bitty giggles. “It’s funny, because they’re frogs!”

Everyone laughs at that, especially Chowder, even though it’s not nearly that funny.

“Shut up,” Dex grumbles, and throws a pillow at Holster’s head.

\--

The month of November goes down in Haus history as the month where the most typically Nursey event of all time occurs.

“I can’t believe,” Dex says, voice bridled with frustration. “That _you_ , a defenseman in _hockey,_ one of the most injury-ridden sports in America, got your first injury in college not from a game, not even from practice, but from _running away from a roach and tripping._ ”

Dex, Nursey, and Chowder are all packed in Dex’s car, Dex driving, Nursey sitting shotgun, and Chowder in the backseat. They’ve just left the urgent care, where they got an x-ray of Nursey’s ankle and determined that yes, it _was_ sprained, and now they’re on their way back to the Haus.

“Listen, that roach was huge,” Nursey insists. “I had to run to preserve my life.”

“And you couldn’t preserve your ankle, too?” Dex demands. He’s been fuming ever since Nursey hobbled into their room and explained what happened, because seriously, this is something that would _only ever happen to Nursey._ “What did you even trip over?”

“IDK, man, I was too caught up in the escape,” Nursey says. “I can’t believe a roach did this to me.” He lets out a long sigh and shakes his head. “Team fuckin’ Attic, am I right?”

Dex rolls his eyes so hard he gets a brief headache. “A roach didn’t do this to you, _you_ did this to you.”

“ _Dex,_ ” Nursey whines, and Dex tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “Stop being mean to me. I’ve suffered enough.”

“Don’t worry, Nursey,” Chowder says with a sympathetic frown, and pats Nursey’s shoulder. “Dex is just being mean to you because he cares.”

Dex, predictably, flushes, and glances at Nursey out of the corner of his eye. Nursey doesn’t meet his gaze, so Dex looks at Chowder in the rear-view mirror. “Shut up, Chow.”

Chowder just smiles innocently back at him.

\--

“I had to talk Bitty out of driving down here just to make you a pie,” Dex tells Nursey as he enters their room. Nursey is stretched out on the bottom bunk, right ankle wrapped and propped up on a pile of pillows. It strikes Dex, suddenly, that this is the most he’s seen of Nursey all semester.

Nursey frowns at Dex. “But what if I needed pie?”

Dex rolls his eyes. “You don’t _need_ pie. You need rest, and ice, and to keep that elevated for the next few days.”

Dex sits on the bed next to Nursey and gently straps the ice pack around Nursey’s ankle. “That okay?” He asks, voice definitely way too gently, and Nursey nods. Dex leans back. “How bad does it hurt?”

Nursey makes a face. “Kinda bad.”

Dex frowns, and almost reaches out to place a hand on Nursey’s ankle as a comforting gesture, but he doesn’t want to hurt Nursey, and also, that would be weird. “Do you need anything? Some tylenol, some water?”

Nursey smirks lazily at him. “You’d be a good nurse, Poindexter.”

Dex valiantly does not blush. “Says the Nurse.”

Nursey laughs brightly at that, and Dex feels himself smile a little, too.

“So, you wanna watch something? I’ll let you pick, since you’re crippled.”

Nursey looks down and plays with a loose thread on his blanket. “You don’t have to stay here, you know.”

Dex fidgets. “I know, but what if you need something?”

“That’s what the crutches are for.”

Dex levels him with a look. “Nursey. You can barely carry things across a flat surface when both of your ankles are in working condition.”

Nursey grimaces slightly. “Fair point,” he says, and then shifts over, leaving plenty of room for Dex to sit beside him against the headboard. “Can we watch _New Girl?_ ”

Dex sighs loudly, just so Nursey knows what little interest he has in watching _New Girl_ , but he says, “Fine.”

Nursey beams.

Dex grabs his laptop, settles on the bed next to Nursey, and tries to ignore how comfortable and easy it is to practically cuddle with him on the bottom bunk.

Nursey starts up a random episode, and the two of them watch, laughing at the characters’ antics and making side commentary — “Dex, you are literally Nick Miller.” “Seriously? He has an unfinished zombie novel. If anyone is Nick, it’s you.” “So you _do_ watch the show!” — but for the most part, they sit in comfortable silence. At some point, Nursey drops his head onto Dex’s shoulder and Dex pointedly does _not_ freeze, thank you very much. He at first thinks Nursey’s fallen asleep, but realizes that’s not the case a second later when Nursey clicks “Next Episode.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so weird lately,” Nursey says quietly. “I’ve just been dealing with — things. School things,” he adds, a second too late.

And Dex wants to pry, he really does, but he knows that if Nursey wants to tell him about it, he will. So he says, “It’s okay. I get it.”

“This senior thesis has been kicking my ass,” Nursey continues, and it sounds a bit more sincere this time. Honestly, Nursey probably _is_ sincere, and Dex is just reading into things. His senior seminar is kicking his ass, too. He doesn’t even know _what_ he’d do if he had to write a _twenty-page paper._ “But I’ve missed y— this.”

And maybe Nursey hadn’t been going to say _you._ But it sure _sounded_ like that’s what he meant to say, so Dex is smiling when he replies, “Yeah. Me too.”

\--

As weird as it sounds, when Nursey sprains his ankle, things start to go back to normal.

It takes about four days for Nursey’s ankle to heal, during which he only leaves his bed to go to class. The result is that Dex ends up spending a lot of time with Nursey again — studying, watching Netflix, and listening to him whine about his ankle. Despite the circumstances, it’s kind of nice, though Dex fully anticipates Nursey to return to the library the second his ankle heals.

But, surprisingly, he doesn’t.

“Apparently all of my stress about this paper paid off because I sorta overworked myself and now I’m pretty much done with it,” Nursey tells Dex and Chowder three weeks before finals. “So I’m probably gonna just chill for the rest of the semester.”

Nursey does more than just 'chill,' of course — he has to put the finishing touches on his paper, and he still has finals to study for, but as far as Dex is concerned, he seems much less anxious and stressed. He’s in their room much more often, editing or studying or even, miraculously, taking a break to watch Netflix every now and then. He still stays up far too late, something Dex tries not to worry about, but he’s taking it easy compared to how much he was working earlier in the semester, and he definitely seems happier.

And Dex is always sort of secretly happier when Nursey is around, so really, it’s a win-win.

Really, the only downside to Dex being around Nursey so much is that it’s a lot easier to remember how gone on Nursey he is. Which is a problem because Dex...really, really likes Nursey, to the point where it’s hard to concentrate on finals when Nursey is right there in the room being...well, Nursey.

And it’s a problem because Dex is starting to realize he’s never really felt like this about anyone before, which is mildly horrifying. He’s had crushes before — enough to count on one hand, but still — but they were always tiny and fleeting and Dex was usually all-too-quick to move on. But this crush on Nursey has lasted for so long that Dex is starting to wonder if it can be qualified as a crush anymore; if it should maybe be qualified as something more.

He hasn’t said anything to Nursey about it, which goes without saying. He doesn’t think Nursey feels the same way, and he’s worried about making things awkward and ruining their friendship, something he really values and really doesn’t want to screw up. And to top it all off, Dex is kind of allergic to talking about his feelings.

Still, though. Sometimes — and only sometimes — he’s tempted to say something, and the week before winter break is one of those times.

It’s a tough week — finals are kicking his ass, he barely sleeps, and to add to the culmination of stress, Dex can’t for the life of him think of what to get Nursey for Christmas.

It’s annoying, because he’s usually amazing at gifts. He’s already picked out gifts for Chowder, his mom, and all of his siblings; Nursey is literally the last person on his list, and he’s running out of time. They both leave for winter break on Thursday, and Dex refuses to be one of those embarrassing and lame people who give their friends Christmas gifts after Christmas has already passed.

What makes matters even worse is that Nursey has already given Dex his gift — a Todd Chavez Funko pop, a cute little reindeer ornament made out of tiny plastic tools, and a brown scarf with no price tag on it.

“Did you knit this yourself?” Dex had asked after running his fingers across the scarf, impressed.

Nursey looked down, almost shy. “Chowder helped,” he admitted. “I took up knitting recently? It’s supposed to be a good stress-reliever and you don’t have enough scarves because you’re stupid and always claim you don’t get cold, so I just figured — I mean, the ends of the scarf are a little uneven so it’s not exactly — ”

“I think it’s perfect,” Dex cut him off. Nursey’s smile almost cracked his face in half.

And the gift _was_ perfect, only it meant that Dex needed to come up with an equally perfect gift for Nursey.

It isn’t until after his exam on Tuesday that Dex finally figures out what to get, and on Wednesday, when the two of them are in their room packing, Dex hands him his gift.

“What, no hearts on the wrapping paper this time?” Nursey asks, gesturing to the seasonally appropriate gift bag.

Dex rolls his eyes. “Just take it, Nursey.”

Nursey does, laughing, and removes the bag the and the tissue paper covered in Christmas trees to reveal a Dumbo stuffed animal.

He doesn’t say anything at first, just spins the stuffed animal around in his hands, eyes widened slightly. Dex clears his throat, nervous. “Uh, I know it’s not a replacement for the one you broke because of me, or anything. And I thought about getting you a little decorative one. But then I was like ‘Well, what if he breaks _that_ one?’ You know? So I just got you that, because I thought it was cute, and. I don’t know.” Nursey still hasn’t said anything, so he adds, awkwardly, “Uh, do you like it?”

“Dex, are you kidding? Of course I like it,” Nursey says, and hugs stuffed animal, which is so unbelievably cute that it’s not fair. “I love it,” he says, looking back up at Dex, voice incredibly sincere, and Dex swallows. “This is the best gift ever.”

“I thought the nasal strips were the best gift ever,” Dex replies. His throat feels dry.

“This is better,” Nursey insists, and hugs the stuffed animal again.

And God, Dex is so ridiculously into Nursey and Nursey’s everything that he almost blurts out right then and there.

And how bad would it be, really, if he said something? Sure, it might be awkward, but what if it wasn’t? What if, miraculously, Nursey felt the same way? Because sometimes Nursey looks at Dex a few seconds longer than normal, or smiles at him a little brighter than normal, and Dex feels a tiny bit of hope flare in his chest and thinks to himself, _maybe._

But when Dex opens his mouth to respond, all that comes out is, “Uh, I’m glad you like it.”

Nursey beams another one of his too-bright smiles at Dex, and Dex smiles weakly back.

\--

“So, what would you guys think about visiting me in New York for New Year’s?” Nursey asks the next day.

He, Dex, and Chowder are at Annie’s. It’s become tradition that they drive Chowder to the airport for winter break every year, and every year they always stop at Annie’s beforehand for a coffee and maybe a scone or two. As soon as they drop Chowder off, Nursey is driving back to Samwell to drop Dex off at his truck, and then he’s driving home. He and Nursey had finished packing earlier; Dex had maybe, out of the corner of his eye, watched Nursey gently and carefully place the Dumbo stuffed animal in his suitcase and blushed for thirty minutes straight afterwards.

“New York?!” Chowder asks, eyebrows practically shooting off his forehead.

“Yeah, why not? You guys have never been, right?” Dex and Chowder both shake their head no. “Yeah, you could come up the day before or whatever, and then you could stay until we go back to Samwell.”

“You’re sure your parents won’t mind?” Dex asks, hesitant. It sounds like a long trip, and he wouldn’t want to impose — his mom raised him to have manners, thank you very much.

“Dude, are you kidding? They’d be thrilled,” Nursey says. “They’re literally in love with Chow, and Dex, they’ve never even met you, which is all the more reason to come. And anyway, New York is the best place to be for New Year’s.”

“The busiest place, you mean,” Dex corrects him.

Nursey makes a face at him.

“I’d love to go!” Chowder says, practically vibrating in his chair with excitement. “Dex, are you coming?”

Dex thinks about it. His family has a tradition of hanging out in the living room and watching the ball drop on New Year’s, but he doesn’t think they’d mind too much if he went to New York to be with Chowder and Nursey instead. And Dex has never been before — he’d be stupid to pass up a vacation with his two best friends and a free place to stay.

A part of him is a little nervous to say yes, though. He’s listened to Nursey talk about New York enough times to know how much he loves it, how comfortable and at ease he must feel there. And if Dex already has a ridiculous crush on Nursey-at-Samwell, he doesn’t even want to imagine how he’ll feel about Nursey-in-New-York. And with how hard it’s been for him to keep his feelings to himself lately, he’s not sure. It feels like a risk.

But with both Chowder and Nursey looking at him hopefully, what is he going to do, say no? Besides, it’s not like he’ll be alone with Nursey the whole time — Chowder will be there, and so will Nursey’s parents, so really, how bad it will be?

“Sure,” Dex says finally. “I’ll come.”

“‘Swawesome!” Nursey says. “Our first frog vacation!”

Chowder cheers in response.

And when Nursey puts it that way, how can Dex be anything but excited?

\--

A few days after Christmas, as Dex is just beginning to pack for his trip to Nursey’s, he receives a text in the frog group chat.

 **Chowder  
** Hey so I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn’t look like I’m gonna be able to come to New York after all :(

 **Nursey  
** What!  
Why?

 **Chowder  
** My parents were planning on visiting China and didn’t even bother to tell me, we’re leaving in two days and won’t be back til the day before school  
They bought my plane ticket already and everything  
Sorry you guys!!! I really wish I could be there!!!

 **Nursey  
** Aw it’s ok Chow  
Maybe you can visit this summer?

 **Chowder  
** Yes for sure!!

Dex frowns down at his phone. It isn’t like Chowder to bail out of plans a few days beforehand, but he also understands that sometimes things come up that you can’t control. He’s stuffing more flannels in his suitcase and thinking about what to say in the group chat when his phone chimes with another message from Chowder, this time sent just to him.

 **Chowder  
** You’re welcome  
Go get that new year’s kiss, Dex

Dex drops the flannel in his hands and stares at his phone, mouth agape, for what feels like ten minutes.

 **Dex  
** What the fuck

 **Chowder  
** [angel emoji]

 **Dex  
** Dude  
…………how did you even find out

 **Chowder  
** As your captain, I know all

 **Dex  
**...I literally hate you

 **Chowder  
** No you don’t

Dex is practically fuming when he gets another text, this time from Nursey in the group chat. Because what is he supposed to do, suspiciously back out of the trip right after Chowder? Make Nursey feel sad and lonely for a week because Dex is scared he’ll accidentally admit something he’s successfully kept a secret for two years now?

He’s being ridiculous, he decides. This is _Nursey._

So, after letting out a long sigh, he looks back down at his phone.

 **Nursey  
** Dex, you still coming?

 **Dex  
** Yep

 **Nursey  
** ‘Swawesome [thumbs up emoji]

Dex groans and throws his phone onto his bed.

\--

The first thing Dex notices about Nursey’s brownstone is that it’s fancy, but not quite as big as he imagined it in his head.

“Well, yeah,” Nursey says when Dex voices his thoughts out loud. “It’s New York.”

Dex doesn’t really know what that means, but he pretends he does.

He gives him a tour almost as soon as Dex steps in the door, starting with the living room and the kitchen, and then leading him down the hall all the way to Nursey’s room, which is...just about how Dex expected it to look. It fits into an aesthetic, of course — everything is white and gray, with fairy lights and a fancy tapestry, but the room is well-loved in certain places, too, like the worn out books on Nursey’s shelf or the cork-board filled with pictures from Samwell. It’s so quintessentially Nursey that it makes Dex smile.

Nursey’s moms get home right before dinner, and, like Nursey predicted, seem thrilled that Dex is there. They ask him all sorts of questions throughout dinner — what’s his major, where he’s from, why did he choose Samwell — and seem genuinely interested in his answers. At the end of the night, when he offers to do the dishes, he thinks they’re going to faint from excitement.

“Of course that’s not necessary, Will,” says Mrs. Nurse, who insisted Dex call her Kaya. “But thank you so much for the polite offer!”

“You’re welcome to let your manners rub off on Derek, though,” says Dr. Nurse, who insisted Dex call her Farrah. “Every time he makes himself a snack he leaves the plate just sitting in the sink. Doesn’t even bother to put it in the washing machine.”

“Oh, trust me, I know,” Dex laughs. “He does the same thing at school.”

Nursey glares at him, betrayed, and his moms just laughs.

“So,” Dex says when he’s setting up the Nurses’ air mattress in Nursey’s room that night. When Nursey had promised the mattress was comfier than Chowder’s, Dex laughed, even though the memory of sleeping on Chowder’s lumpy mattress feels like centuries ago. “I want to ask a question, but I want to make sure I ask it in a way that doesn’t sound offensive or nosy.”

Nursey laughs a little, climbing into his bed, right next to where Dex has laid out the mattress. “Yeah, it's chill. Okay, so, Kaya is my biological mom, and Farrah is her wife, but they’ve been married for so long that I call them both my moms.”

Dex makes a sheepish face. “You get that question a lot?”

“Yeah, but most of the time people are really rude about it, and you weren’t, so don’t sweat it.”

And Dex doesn’t want to pry, but he’s a little curious. It’s not like Dex hasn’t told Nursey plenty about his own family — how his Dad left when he was three, how his mom had to raise him and his brother and sister on her own. And he knows that if Nursey doesn’t want to answer the question, he’ll say so. So Dex asks, “And, um, your dad…?”

Nursey frowns a little. “He and my mom got divorced when I was five. I was really young, so I don’t remember a lot, but I know he wanted to leave, so.” He shrugs. “I mean, I still see him, but...we’re not close.”

And Dex has never met Nursey’s dad, but he really can’t imagine any sane person wanting to leave _Nursey_ — or his mom, for that matter, who is maybe the most beautiful woman Dex has ever seen. But he doesn’t want to make Nursey talk about it, especially because it seems like it’s something that makes Nursey sad, so he changes the subject.

“Well, your moms are nice.”

“They’re embarrassing,” Nursey says, rolling his eyes, but he’s smiling the way he always does when he talks about something or someone he loves. “But they already love you.”

Dex crawls into the air mattress. Nursey was right — it _is_ comfy. “So, all of the horrible things you’ve told them about me didn’t totally damage my reputation?”

Nursey yawns and stretches out on his bed. “Nah,” he says. Dex suddenly realizes that this is the earliest he’s seen Nursey go to bed since May. “All the good things I’ve told them have made up for it.”

Dex smiles into the pillow he stole from Nursey’s guest room.

\--

“Dex.”

Dex blinks awake, and at first does nothing, jarred by how the room he’s in looks nothing like his room at home or his room at Samwell. He’s just beginning to remember that it’s because he’s at Nursey’s house when he hears his name again.

He flips over in the air mattress to face Nursey. “What?” He hisses.

But Nursey doesn’t say anything, just shifts and mumbles something Dex can’t hear. He waits for Nursey to sit up in bed, or for him to say Dex’s name again, but he doesn’t.

Dex flips over to stare at the dark ceiling of Nursey’s room, then checks the time. It’s not even 6 AM yet. He sighs and pulls the blanket back over his head.

It takes him a little while to fall back asleep, but when he does, his last thought is, _I can’t believe Nursey talks in his sleep and has the audacity to complain about my snoring._

\--

Dex sleeps in until almost noon the next day, which is a rarity for him. But in his defense, Nursey’s air mattress is _seriously comfortable._

It’s New Year’s Eve, which means Dex and Nursey have just enough time to eat brunch before they’re roped into helping Nursey’s moms decorate for their annual New Year’s Eve party. Dex assumes it won’t take too long, but he assumes wrong, because apparently the Nurses are _serious_ about decorating. They don’t get finished until the guests begin to arrive, which isn’t until about 9:00.

“Hey, we should send Chowder a selfie,” Nursey says just about an hour before midnight. He and Dex have spent most of the night avoiding mingling with Nursey’s moms’ friends and refilling the snacks in the kitchen. They’re in the kitchen, now, though they’re currently doing more snacking than refilling. “Let him know what he’s missing.”

Nursey pulls his phone out and Dex hopes his smile looks genuine in the Snapchat Nursey takes. He still can’t believe how excited Chowder had acted when Nursey suggested they come to New York. He probably knew he was going to bail the whole time. _That conniving, meddling little goalie…_

“Oh no. My annoying neighbor who owns thirty million Parakeets is coming this way.” Dex follows Nursey's horrified gaze and sure enough, an old white woman is making a beeline straight towards them. “She looks like she’s coming to try to talk to me. Probably about her thirty million Parakeets.” Dex snorts. “Pretend like you’re talking to me,” Nursey begs.

Dex’s eyes widen. “Uhh….” He wracks his brain trying to come up with a topic to discuss before he finally settles on, “Did you know...you talk in your sleep?”

Nursey blinks. “What?”

“You talk in your sleep,” Dex repeats. “I’ve never heard you do it before, but you did last night, and I just wanted to point out that talking in your sleep is  _w_ _ay_ more annoying than snoring, so you no longer have any right to complain.”

He thought it was a good conversation starter — a harmless chirp. It certainly seems to have worked as a way to keep Nursey’s neighbor at bay, as she’s since veered course, probably to look for someone else to listen to her talk about her thirty million Parakeets. But from the way Nursey is staring at him, Dex is wondering if maybe he should’ve chosen something else to talk about.

“What did I say?” Nursey demands.

Dex shifts and feels the back of his neck heat up. “Just my name,” he says off-handedly.

Nursey drops the chip he was holding to the floor.

Dex pauses, confused by Nursey’s reaction. “What, were you having a sex dream about me or something?” He finally jokes.

Nursey doesn’t laugh.

It occurs to Dex, then, that it is entirely possible that _was_ what Nursey was doing, and Dex...isn’t quite sure how to feel about that. He really should’ve opened this conversation with any other topic. “Wait. Is that what you were…?”

“No,” Nursey says, so vehemently that Dex flinches. “No, that’s not — God. Can we not have this conversation right now?”

And frankly, Dex can’t think of a better time to have this conversation. Because he’s tired of Nursey keeping his distance and hiding out in the library and staying up all night and still insisting nothing is wrong even though clearly something is. So Dex frowns and crosses his arms. “Nursey. What’s up?”

Nursey chews his lip. “I’ve been having, uh. Dreams. About you.”

Dex feels his mouth go dry. “What kind of dreams?”

Nursey shrugs, but he won’t quite meet Dex’s eyes. “I don’t know. They’re all kinda different.”

“Nursey — ”

“They’re mushy, romantic dreams, okay?” Nursey cuts him off. Dex falls silent. “Like, kissing, holding hands, going on dates, moving in and — and raising kids and getting old — just, whatever.” He crosses his arms and leans back against the kitchen counter, looking just about everywhere except Dex’s face.

Dex just stares at him. He feels a million thoughts and questions running through his head at once, and can’t concentrate enough on any of them, so he plucks one at random. “For…how long have you been…”

Nursey shrugs again, as if trying to appear nonchalant, but Dex knows him better. The muscles in his shoulders are rigid. “Since like August, I guess.”

 _Four months,_ Dex thinks a little wildly. “Is that — the not sleeping and the not talking to me and everything...is that why?”

“Maybe,” Nursey mumbles. “I just thought...I thought if I was around you too much you’d figure it out and things would get weird so I just stayed away and I stayed up late just in case I talked in my sleep or something stupid and at first that was easier but then I — I _missed_ you,” he admits, blinking hard down at his shoes. “And I decided to give up and hope that everything would just — stop, but, it didn’t.”

Dex swallows. It feels like the entire world has been tilted on its axis.

Nursey finally looks back at him, and he’s wearing the same irritating expression Dex has hated ever since freshman year, the chill, unbothered, and unphased expression. But again, Dex knows him better. “Are you planning on saying anything at any point, or?”

“I’m…” Dex waves a hand, searching for words. “Processing.”

There’s a crack in Nursey’s “chill” mask, and he frowns. “That doesn’t sound like a good response.”

Dex makes a noise. “It’s not... _not_ a good response.”

Nursey sighs. “Look, it’s chill, okay? I mean it. Don’t make it a big deal, or whatever. I’m just like, mildly attracted to you. And like, maybe have a small crush on you. Big deal, I have eyes and we’re friends and I’m around you all the time. It was bound to happen. I’ll get over it.”

Dex wants to ask if this means Nursey is having dreams about growing old with Chowder, too, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Look...I’m just gonna let you process, alright?” Nursey says. “And if this whole...thing...makes you uncomfortable, then...you can go home early.” He looks down and swallows, and it strikes Dex suddenly that Nursey is _scared._ “I’ll understand.”

Still shocked, Dex splutters for a few seconds before finally saying, “I don’t want to _leave._ ”

Nursey looks back up. What looks like relief passes over his face, and he says, “Okay, whatever you want.” He glances away, over at a group of his moms’ friends. “I’m gonna....um, go. But. I’ll see you later, probably.”

Dex thinks he says “Okay” as Nursey turns and leaves, but he honestly isn’t sure. For a few minutes, he just stands there, staring at the chips and dip in the center of the island in the Nurses’ kitchen. And then, when he finally comes to and realizes there are far too many people around for him to focus on something like this, he slips into the nearest bathroom, closes the door, sits on the edge of the tub, and takes a deep breath.

So. Nursey has been avoiding Dex since August not because he hates him or wants to move out or something equally horrifying that Dex has been trying not to imagine, but because he’s been having dreams about Dex. Gooey, cliche, romantic dreams. Dreams about kissing Dex and having kids with Dex and growing old with Dex.

And Nursey never said anything to him about it. For four months, didn’t say a word, and God — Dex is so _stupid._

He immediately springs up and bolts out the door to find Nursey, something that turns out to be easier said than done due to the sheer number of people in the apartment. But after about fifteen minutes of searching, Dex finally finds him leaning against the balcony just outside his room.

Nursey’s brownstone isn’t _that_ close to Times Square, so it’s not like they can just look down into the street and watch the ball drop right from their window. But Times Square isn’t that far away, either, and Dex can just make out the glowing lights from Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.

Dex clears his throat as he approaches Nursey. “Hey,” he says.

Nursey looks up, startled, and then looks away, back at the lights and the party at the not-so-distant Times Square. “Hey,” Nursey replies.

Dex lets out a breath just to watch it puff out in the cold New York air. “Kinda crazy to know that something you watch on TV every year is happening in real life right there, huh?”

Nursey shrugs. “Maybe. But I’m kinda used to it.”

And this feels like familiar territory, so Dex rolls his eyes. “Of course you are.”

Nursey cracks a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, then darts a quick glance over at Dex. “So,” he says, and takes a sip of the IPA beer in his hand. “Had time to process?”

“Yep.”

Nursey takes another sip of his beer. This sip is a tiny bit longer. “And?”

Dex feels his face burn. “Well,” Dex says. “I mean, hopefully I didn’t read any of this wrong. But I’ve just been thinking about how we’re both huge idiots.”

Nursey lowers the beer. “What?”

Dex clears his throat, because he’s the most awkward person imaginable. “I mean, you’ve been pining after me since August, at least — ”

Nursey gapes. “I _never said_ I was — ”

“And I’ve been pining after you for like, way longer than that. So.”

Nursey closes his mouth, opens it, and closes it again. “What?” He repeats.

Dex’s entire face is red now. “I like you,” he admits quietly. “A lot.”

Nursey stares at him for a second too long, a second where Dex begins to panic and think he’s read this entire situation wrong, until Nursey’s face slowly breaks into a smile. “No fuckin’ way.” Dex can’t help it. He laughs. “Since when?”

And this is the exact question Dex had been hoping to avoid. “I don’t know,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck, even though he knows _exactly_ when. “Like...sophomore year?”

“ _Two years?_ ” Nursey sounds incredulous. Dex doesn’t think he’s ever blushed this much. “Dude! That is _embarrassing._ ”

Dex squawks in protest and shoves Nursey. “Shut up! It is not!”

“It _so_ is,” Nursey insists, but the size of his smile takes away from the teasing lilt of his words. “I mean, I, uh — in case it wasn’t obvious, I like you too. Like, a ridiculous amount,” Nursey says, sounding a little shy. Dex smiles so wide, his cheeks start to hurt. Nursey laughs a little bit. “God, I can’t believe I was scared to tell you. I’m such a dumbass.”

“We’re both dumbasses,” Dex corrects him.

Then two things happen at once. The party from inside Nursey’s apartment starts getting louder, and Nursey glances down at Dex’s mouth. It takes Dex a little while to figure out what’s happening — in his defense, he’s a bit distracted — but he realizes that the guests inside are counting down.

“So our first kiss is gonna be a New Year’s Kiss, huh?” Nursey says to Dex. “That’s mad cheesy, dude.”

Dex takes a little while to answer, mind reeling around the words ‘our first kiss.’ He’s still pretty stuck on the word _first_ when he finally manages, “Would’ve thought you’d be the type to think that’s romantic, Nurse.”

“It _is_ romantic,” Nursey agrees. “It’s also cheesy as hell.”

Dex sighs. “Are we seriously gonna argue when we could be kissing right now?”

“Fair point,” Nursey says, and kisses him.

Dex has been kissed before, only twice. Both occasions were a long time ago, and with two different people. He’s never been kissed by someone he really wanted to kiss, and he’s never been kissed by _Nursey_ , specifically, and it’s not like he had anything personally against kissing before, but when he’s kissing Nursey, he thinks he finally understands the hype.

The kiss is soft and slow, like Nursey is taking his time. Like this is something he’s been waiting a while for, and is trying to prolong for as long as he can, a thought that makes Dex feel a little dizzy.

Nursey’s still holding onto his shirt when he pulls back, and Dex feels a little breathless. He can hear cheering coming from inside, and he sees fireworks — literal ones, outside celebrating the New Year, and also the really cheesy, metaphorical ones happening inside his mind.

“You know what, Dex?” Nursey says. “I have a feeling this is going to be a pretty great year.”

Dex stares at him for a few seconds before saying, “God, that was terrible.” But he kisses Nursey again anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may be wondering, "wow, that tripping over a roach and spraining an ankle story is really specific! How did you come up with that?" uh yeah that happened to me
> 
> Is the New Girl reference a shameless plug for my New Girl au or is it just me projecting onto Nursey? Take your pick

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So I've projected a lot onto this fic overall, and I'll probably use the notes to point out things I projected onto, but the prank Nursey plays on Dex where he puts a Craigslist ad saying Dex is giving out a lobster for adoption is inspired by a) this tweet https://twitter.com/B00TYCHASIN/status/1033753279996588032 and b) one time my friend put an ad on Craigslist saying I'd inherited a kinkajou and was giving it away and I recieved many many texts. TBH, most of the pranks in this chapter were inspired by stories I've heard, pranks I've done to people, or pranks people have done to me lol oops
> 
> I've written most of this fic already, so updates should be out regularly! Thanks for reading!


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